Saturday Night on the Plains

Saturday night was a concert downtown Hutchinson, Kansas, organized by Jon Dennis, on the left in this photo. It was a free concert with about a dozen different performers, and an art auction.

All the performers were donating their time so all proceeds from the auction were going to the Central Kansas Tenants Association, a group Jon formed. I'm sorry to say Jon was leaving town later that night, after the concert. I'm really going to miss him.

One of my favorite things about an event like this is running into folks I know and having a chance to visit a bit.



No sooner had I arrived than I saw Greg, and Jade popped over to say hi.





Kate, Lovella, Ron and some others were talking about the Wiley Building.



Jason (left) and Mason (right) were there...



As was Mikaela, who found a young friend.

To top off the night, I won the auction for this beautiful watercolor.




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Deadman Flats and an afternoon in Hutchinson Kansas

Deadman Flats was playing a concert today in Avenue A park. Some of these guys are originally from Hutchinson, but now live in Lawrence. They refer to their music as, "Bluegrass at its most inbred."





Even puppy dogs were enjoying the music.





We were under the gazebo at Avenue A park. We're so fortunate to have this beautiful space in town.



You may notice the raindrops in the water. They were followed by many, many more. And it was in the lower 60s. A little nippy - particularly for July.







They are obviously very talented guys.

I had gone with a hat to keep the sun off my face, and neglected to get a jacket or umbrella. Fortunately, when Greg came later he grabbed a sweater out of my car for me, and I was thankful for it.

Despite the weather, there was a good crowd for them, and for Tallgrass Express String Band, which started the concert. That group was formed through meetings at the Friday night jam sessions at the Emma Chase Cafe in Cottonwood Falls.







This is another great example of the large number of things going on in Hutchinson. Sometimes people say there's nothing to do. I think those people aren't looking very hard. Today I missed a cooking demonstration I wanted to go to because I was at the concert. Seems to me there's usually more than one thing to do at any given time.

Oh, by the way, this was free. Completely free. Show up was all people had to do.

Tonight there's another free concert with nearly a dozen bands performing.
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Happy Birthday to a lovely lady

Today is the 88th birthday of Virginia G. Siebert McGovern. She is a lovely woman who is an honorary member of Chicks. Chicks meets in the historic Wolcott home owned by Doug McGovern, and Ginny is his mother. They are so generous to us, letting us come to the house every month for our group.

Doug was planning a party for tonight but I couldn't work it into my schedule so this afternoon I bought some roses and took over with a card, just to let her know I was thinking about her. I only stayed a couple of minutes because I'm sure they were busy getting ready, even though they were very gracious about my unannounced and unexpected visit.

These are the roses I picked up today. I snapped a few photos sitting in the car in the parking lot. They were wrapped in cellophane with tissue paper around that and I didn't realize until I looked at the photos tonight that you can see the reflections. The ones I took without flash have these tinted look from the tissue paper, and they're slightly fuzzy because the shutter speed was so low, but, I still like the look of it.



I didn't ask the birthday girl if I could take her photo since I was just dropping in. I didn't want to put her on the spot that way. Doug had created bookmarks to share with everyone that have four photos of his mom throughout her life. The first one is when she's 17 months old and being held by her great-grandmother who is 100. What a great photo to have.

I hope she has had a wonderful day. She's a lovely lady.




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Squash Recipe

I hadn't been out to the garden in a couple of days. Tonight I found a normal and  a monster zucchini, and two squashes. I decided it was time to cook something up. I've been giving things to my neighbor because I haven't had time to cook them. But, tonight I whipped up some squash for dinner and it was mighty tasty, if I do say so myself. And, it's easy!

Squash a la Patsy

2 squash, sliced
1 onion, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
garlic
salt
pepper
cheese

I put the squash and onion in an iron skillet with a little olive oil and let it cook very slowly while I was cleaning up a bit in the kitchen. I added some garlic, salt and pepper to taste. When it was soft, I dished it out and melted some cheese on top. You could mix that in, too, if you wanted.

It was very good, easy and quick. And, it's a great way to use some of the squash which will, no doubt, be plentiful all summer.

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Friends

Greg took this nice pic of Jade and Mark watching the fireworks Friday night. It's so darned handy to have a photographer around. Mia, Greg's girlfriend, was sitting next to Mark, but she was too close for Greg to include in this particular photo.

We had a full weekend, and I have more pix to share. But, as you might guess, I haven't gotten around to dealing with them.

Maybe tomorrow... Maybe this weekend... Maybe I live in a dream world...

OK, we all know I live in a dream world. But, it's so nice and warm and fuzzy and purple in here.

Speaking of dreams... I've been trying to keep a dream journal lately. It's something I've read about for years and something that came up during the writing workshop. I don't quite have the knack of it yet. If I open my eyes, the dreams vanish. Unfortunately, my handwriting when my eyes are closed is not very good. I'm searching for the compromise there. Yesterday morning I kept writing over the sentence I had just written. It might make for a good art piece, but it leaves a bit to be desired in the journal/insight department. Perhaps tomorrow morning will be better. And I'm going to go dream something worth writing. Right now.
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Tonight during dinner at Skaets we noticed the oddest thing - it was raining in the street, but not on the sidewalk. You always know the line of rain has to begin and end somewhere, you just don't expect to be able to identify the exact spot.

After we had finished, Lisa mentioned there was a beautiful rainbow. I ran out to look at it. We were near the fairgrounds, and there wasn't a great foreground, but I couldn't resist snapping a pic with my phone (Palm Treo 755p).

It seems I spent the whole day running from one thing to another, without having a chance to catch my breath, so that was a nice way to end the day.

I've been working on things for the MHA's Victorian Tea on August 9. There are so many little details to handle. But, today I got the mail and found a check for a ticket had already come in. The only promotion I've done was in the garden tour booklet but this woman went ahead and ordered, which is great. And it's a new person, too, so that's very cool.

Those are always fun events. I enjoy doing them, although there's always a moment when I look around and think I'm living in a fantasy land that I think I can get it all done. But, with lots of volunteers and great board members it always comes together.

Last year we sold out and had regulars who were disappointed. I'm hoping people order their tickets early this year so we don't run into that problem.
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Steady as She Goes

"How, dear sir, did you cross the flood?"
"By not halting friend, and by not straining I crossed the flood."
"But how is it, dear sir, that by not halting and by not straining you crossed the flood?"
"When I came to a standstill, friend, then I sank; but when I struggled, then I got swept away. It is in this way, friend, that by not halting and by not straining I crossed the flood."
                                                         -Buddha

I ran across this quote tonight and realized it's perfect for my life right now. I need to just keep at things - steady - and get them accomplished. No struggling, no stopping, just keeping pace. It much easier said than done, but it's what I need to do.

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Greensburg Kansas Revisited

Greg, Mark and I went to Greensburg, Kansas, today. I had not been there since right after the tornado of May 4, 2007. This photo above, of the dead tree on the left and the other tree in the middle, was taken in the middle of town. Obviously, many homes are gone and have not been rebuilt - at least not yet.

Greensburg is rebuilding green. They have passed, unanimously, an ordinance to build all city buildings to LEED Platinum level standards. They are the first city in the US to have such an ordinance.

I'm so impressed with the resilience of the people of Greensburg. Although, for those who do not live nearby and may not be aware, many residents have not returned to Greensburg and probably will not. A series of events led to that, most of which can be summed up that people have created new lives elsewhere in the intervening time period. The reasons they've done that are sometimes as simple as they moved to be closer to family elsewhere, and as complex as they couldn't move the trailer they bought to live in back into Greensburg due to city regulations.

Obviously, there is no model for Greensburg officials to follow.

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Barbies Gone Wild

We spent the day in Lucas, Kansas. One of the places we visited was a house owned by the Grassroots Art Center where an artist creates assemblages from things like Barbies. I like her. I don't know her, but I like her. She's my kind of person. There will be more pix once I have a chance to go through all the photos. I like her.
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Fireworks with and without a Plastic Pig

We went to the municipal fireworks display tonight. It was quite lovely. Before that, Greg and Mark were busy blowing things up with the same poor piggy.

I really don't have anything to add... except I hope you and yours had a very happy Fourth of July! I'll be back to more normalcy tomorrow. I just needed a break from the routine of life. Silly is good sometimes. Necessary, even.
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Fireworks in a Plastic Pig

This is the man I spent 12 years of my life with. Yup. You know his mama is proud, too.

So, Greg decided it would be fun to put some fireworks inside a plastic pig bank and then the pig would be all multi colored when they went off.

Of course, he intended to capture this for posterity. Things didn't go quite as planned.

When he came in and asked if I wanted to come outside and "put a ground bloom inside a pig" I told him that was something no one had ever asked me before.

The first video is of the pig. The second video is of Greg explaining the pig.





This is really the "Making of" and "Director's Cut" of the Fireworks in a Pig. See Greg's account of the event, and close up footage of the pig, at www.thelope.com.
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At War With Grasshoppers

I'm mighty close to saying dirty words about grasshoppers. They are chewing on all of my flowers in the front, and I've now spotted some on the vegetables in back. The grasshoppers must die.

I'm not in the mood for a lecture about how beneficial they are to the environment. I'm in the mood for the name of some poison that will kill them. Because they must die. All of them.

I looked for an organic method. You know what it is? Get a chicken. I'm sorry, that's not a valid answer for most people. I don't want any livestock. In fact, I live in a town where livestock is not allowed. This isn't a big problem for me. But, I wish they wouldn't let grasshoppers in either.

I've now bought three different things that supposedly kill grasshoppers. I have sprayed it directly on them. It does nothing but make them jump to another plant, annoyed by the spray, where they continue eating.

I need a real answer. I really don't want to use poison, but it seems there's no other answer. Of course, so far poison hasn't proven to be much of an answer either. However, no livestock allowed. Ideas?
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Customer Service from 3M

I'm always very impressed with good customer service. It's so rare these days that it stands out even more.

Recently I emailed 3M about a little problem I was having with a product I love - the Post-it Flag Highlighters. I didn't expect anything from them. Just wanted to let them know what I perceived as a design flaw.

A few days later I got an envelope containing a replacement product, a postage paid return label and a letter asking me to return the defective product.

Wow. When was the last time that happened? I think for me the last time was with Brother - about three years ago.

Admittedly, this is a very low cost item. Nonetheless, I'm pretty impressed with their customer service. I wish the rest of the US economy would make a note. And perhaps highlight and flag it, too.
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Quote of the Day

I consider prayer above all an act of gratitude for existence.
Saul Bellow
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Tallgrass Writing Workshop in Emporia Kansas

I spent the weekend at Emporia State University at the 23rd Annual Tallgrass Writing Workshop. It was great to be engaged in learning, and with other writers, for a whole weekend. I know I'm going to want to go back again and again. I was very impressed with the level of instruction, as well as the other folks attending.

Max McCoy, who read at the library here a couple of months ago, organized this year's event. The HRAC, one of the boards I'm on, brought him to Hutchinson. It was one of those things I intended to blog, but never got around to, other than a quick mention, although I did promo it. However, Greg did blog it, in his usual exquisite way.

One of McCoy's presentations this weekend was about the Hero's Journey, a reference to Joseph Campbell's writing. It has been a long time since I read the "Power of Myth." I think a rereading is in order. I obviously need to read "The Hero with a Thousand Faces." If you haven't read any of Campbell's writing, I encourage you to give it a try. Really. Reading him is life changing. It's not the easiest reading I've ever done, but it stays with you.



Max McCoy writes both fiction and non-fiction, including some of the Indiana Jones books, which are a hot topic now with the movie out. He also teaches journalism at Emporia State, and if the one session I was in with him this weekend is any indication, he's a great teacher. It was almost enough to make me want to go back to school. OK, truth be told, I always want to go back to school. It's just that part where they pay me to go to work and I have to pay them to go to school that stops me.

McCoy just won the 2008 Spur Award from the Western Writers of America for his novel, "Hellfire Canyon." This is not just a nice, little award - it's a real honor. He has written a number of books, as well as tons of articles. Read about all things McCoy at www.maxmccoy.com. His blog has been one of my regular stops online since I met him in April.

This weekend he shared something else I found completely endearing - he loves Halloween. This came up when we were drawing names for door prizes out of a plastic pumpkin. Those of you who are regular readers know of my love of holidays - Christmas being my favorite, and Halloween my second favorite. Besides, keeping a plastic pumpkin around all year  demonstrates a certain quirkiness you might expect from someone who spends a large part of their life engaged in creative work. I love quirkiness.

Joining us for Saturday was Cotton Smith, who writes westerns. He was a very engaging speaker and his advice went far beyond the genre where his work is focused. He gave us 12 points to consider in any work. It was valuable information. I came home with a stack of notes from his presentation as well as others.

Julianne Couch spoke to us about using "found stories" and also about travel writing. Her book is called "Jukeboxes and Jackalopes." I was tempted to buy many, many books this weekend but I resisted because I'm in the process of weeding through books and giving them away. Until that's done, and I know how much space I have on my library shelves, I'm going to be a devoted library user. Oh, but the temptation was strong.

The press info on her book says, "Jukeboxes & Jackalopes is an apt description of this collection of essays in which the author shares her impressions of some of the unique bars scattered throughout small towns in Wyoming--some so small that the bar may be the only business at a location named and noted on the map but perhaps only claiming two residents. Regardless of size or remoteness of location, these watering holes often serve as community centers and living rooms away from home for those folks who populate the neighboring ranches and energy industry camps and offer a delightful experience for travelers who dare to leave the Interstate in search of a unique experience." Read more at Pronghorn Press.

Another faculty member was Don Coldsmith. I'm sorry I didn't get to attend any of his breakout sessions. It was difficult to decide what session to go to at times because there was much from which to choose. I did have an opportunity to chat with him a little bit. I am certain he's a man who has a million stories he hasn't yet told. Even during introductions he had us all laughing.

There was a book signing Saturday night during a reception at the local Arts Center. I snapped this photo of Don visiting with a participant that night.



I found this bit about him on a Random House website. "Don Coldsmith served as a World War II combat medic in the South Pacific, graduated from Baker University, and received his M.D. from the University of Kansas. He has been a rancher and a horse breeder, among other professions and avocations, and currently teaches at Emporia State University when he is not writing his award-winning novels. There are nearly six million copies of Don Coldsmith's books in print."

Antonia Felix spoke about the power of dreams in the creative process, as well as her own path in the publishing world. She is a multi-talented woman. In addition to being a writer, she is an accomplished musician, and also studied psychology. I knew I was going to like her the first time I heard her mention Jung.

She has written a number of non-fiction books, including "Condi" about Condoleezza Rice and "Laura" about Laura Bush.

It was interesting to hear her talk about her life. I'm always amazed at how some people can accomplish so much with the same number of hours the rest of us are given in a day. She is an example of someone who must use every single second.



The remaining faculty member was Phillip Finch, who shared his personal story in publishing. I'm not going to go into details, because it's not my story to tell, but suffice it to say it was fascinating.

He is the author of 13 books, the latest of which is "Raising the Dead," which will be released in the US in November. It's the story of divers Dave Shaw and Don Shirley. I saw a documentary about these divers and it was fascinating. I'm sure this book will go into far more detail and be a wonderful read.

He sold his first book over the transom, which is publishing speak for selling it by just sending it to a publisher and they pick it out of the big pile of things that have been sent to them. He said the year his book was published there were only two books published by major houses that had come in that way. The other one was "Ordinary People."

Finch apparently had been writing a blog for awhile, but has discontinued it because of the time it takes. I'm sorry to say he has removed it, so we can't even read the older entries.

Blogging certainly does take time, but I've been writing a chronicle of my life for most of my life, so I think I'd be spending this time anyway. I still do the more personal things in handwritten journals, but blogging simplifies the non-personal aspects. And, so far, I enjoy sharing these sorts of events with readers, just as I like to read about such things on other people's blogs.

Saturday night I mentioned there was a reception at the art center. It was very nice, although I left a little early to go write.




I'm not sure how I've missed this wonderful event all this time. But, my friend, Cynthia, sent me the info on it some time ago. I didn't pay any attention because I knew the timing wouldn't work for me - I was supposed to be on a "Food Coma Caravan" trip this past weekend.
Well, as fate would have it, Cynthia sent it to me again on June 11. Something told me I should pay more attention. When I looked at it more closely, I knew I needed to go to it instead of going on the FCC trip. I hated to miss that fun, but this was definitely the right thing for me to do.

One of the highlights for me was a critique of the first few pages of my novel. Max McCoy was the faculty member who critiqued my pages. He gave me some things to think about, but overall he was very positive and encouraging about the project. I asked him to be brutal - and told him if I cried I'd get over and for him to keep being brutal. He laughed and said he had seen people cry, but he didn't think he was going to say anything to me that would make me cry. There were no tears, for the record.

Tonight when I was searching for info for this post, I ran across this on McCoy's site:

"Q: What advice do you have for young writers?
A: Believe in yourself and have something to say. Then, write. If you must take classes in how to write, that’s okay, but don’t let it stand in your way of actually writing for publication instead of a grade. Ditto with teaching writing instead of actually writing. Teaching writing is fine, but I see so many writing teachers who have no credentials – they’ve never sold anything, they’ve just earned grades for their work. There are exceptions, of course, but the best writing teachers I’ve had were writers first. Reaching an audience is important. And, I think so many people are waiting for somebody to give them permission to write. Their teachers, their family, an agent, a well-known novelist. This is deadly, because the only one who can really give you permission is yourself. Also, when you start regarding yourself as a writer, and acting accordingly, it shakes up the status quo. When it moves from the realm of just a hobby, this is going to bug the hell out of your family and friends, because it is threatening the status quo. Stick to your guns. Write with your heart. Also, in the sense of the word “young” writers, I’m addressing all beginning writers, no matter what age. Writing is one of the most democratic of pursuits. It doesn’t matter how old you are, or your education, or what you look like. What does matter is what you get down on the page, and expect to write around half a million words before you start writing publishable material."

I'm happy to say I'm way past the half a million words mark. I'm sure I've written far more than that longhand, much less what I've written on the keyboard. Thank goodness. Otherwise I'd find that pretty daunting. However, I'm sure he's not too far off the mark.
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Contemplative Mood

Driving home from Emporia today I took Highway 150, one of my favorite roads in Kansas. It's a real taste of the prairie.

I will confess, it took me a long time to appreciate the prairie, but it has a beauty all its own. It's much different than the verdant hills of Kentucky where I grew up. Those early years seem to shape us in multiple ways... they are always with us.

I was in a contemplative mood today and the scenery suited my thoughts. I'll have more to say later, but for tonight I want to go to bed and dream of the new life I'm making for myself.
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Found Story Writing Exercise

I'm attending a writing workshop this weekend. Yesterday one of the exercises resulted in some of us reading a short piece. Of course, as usual, I volunteered to read. I don't intend to be a busy-body - it just seems natural to me, what can I say?

The assignment was to use a "found story" and write about it in the present tense, then moving into something personal in the past tense.

Here's mine...

In the midst of accidental eavesdropping - at least that's how I like to think of it - I am listening to a tale of woe from the Applebee's booth behind me. The 26 year old man with the curly brown hair is lamenting the breakup of his seond marriage. His soon to be ex-wife is letting him continue to live with her and her two kids, as well as the most recent addition to the family - her lesbian lover.

He is heartbroken over the loss of his marriage, and talking about how much he loves being a husband and father. Twenty-five minutes in, his up-til-now quiet buddy says, "Jason, a man who wants to be a goat farmer oughta have either some land or some goats. You ain't got neither one. Boy, you ain't got nothing - no woman, no kids, no family. You better go find you a woman - one that wants a man - if you're gonna have what you say you want."

After I had nearly done an accidental spit-take as a result of my accidental eavesdroppping, I realized what great wisdom there was in the goat farmer analogy. Although I've never wanted to be a goat farmer, at one time I had wanted to be a singer. I went off to a college known for its music program, where I quickly realized my previous singing successes had been a result of the big fish/little pond phenomenon. Now I was with kids from Julliard and Eastman School of Music.

I knew ten minutes into my college career I was out of my league. But I persevered. At least for awhile. Then one day I realized I had neither the dedication nor the talent. In the band I was singing with I was one of the two people holding back the other three really talented folks. Looking back, I realize I was trying to be a goat farmer, with no land and no goats.

Writing More on the Novel

I'm attending a Writing Workshop this weekend. Just being able to focus on writing the novel is great. I've spent a little time tonight writing and hope to be able to do it some more throughout the weekend.

I was listening to a Sonic Theater podcast where a writer being interviewed said she learned to write anywhere, under any conditions. I need to develop that skill. I find it hard to write the novel without some extended time to focus. It would be so handy to be able to write at any time. Something to work on.

This is what I spent a few days amassing that I needed for my meeting yesterday. I don't really have a sense of how things went. I'll find out eventually. Hopefully all went well.

This sort of detail work hurts my brain. But, I got it done.

I'm taking tomorrow off and going to a writer's workshop. I haven't actually had a day off in quite some time. I haven't even done my laundry in over a week. Tonight I'm trying to catch up. I would like to have clean clothes to wear to this workshop - I know, I can be so picky.

My house is just a disaster area. I'm not sure how I can mess it up when I'm hardly in it. But, it's a gift, what can I say?
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Dr. Vreeland Coming Back to Hutchinson

Dr. Russell Vreeland, one of the scientists who discovered an ancient bacteria still living in salt in New Mexico, will be conducting similar research in Hutchinson, according to Linda Schmitt, Director of the Kansas Underground Salt Museum.

Vreeland was here a few weeks ago for the opening of an exhibit at the Kansas Underground Salt Museum featuring his work. The bacteria he and his colleagues discovered is the oldest living thing on Earth.

Vreeland recently received a grant from the National Science Foundation to sample salt in several mines to look for fluid inclusions that might contain bacteria. He will be coming to Hutchinson about once a month to research at the Kansas Underground Salt Museum.

The salt under Hutchinson is about 270 million years old, about 20 million years older than what was sampled in New Mexico. So, if bacteria is found here it would be even older than what was discovered earlier.

The exhibit at the Kansas Underground Salt Museum includes the original piece of salt from which the bacteria was taken and the petri dish in which it was "revived." If you're in the area, I urge you to go see the exhibit if at all possible. It's fascinating just to lay eyes on such things.



In the weeks since I interviewed Dr. Vreeland after his lecture here, and have had more time to think about it, I have come to appreciate him even more as I remembered him saying,  "The feeling we had when we saw it was humility. ... That is the oldest living thing on earth. Here's an organism that was alive 100 million years before the dinosaurs, you've got to respect it."

It's wonderful to see someone who still has a sense of awe about their work. I'm so thrilled he will be conducting research in Hutchinson. What a great opportunity for this community to have the chance to interact with a mind like his.

Museum staff are also talking to Dr. Vreeland about hosting some kid's dig camps next summer. They will probably be 3-5 days long and would entail mine safety training, digging for salt samples underground and classroom and lab instruction. 

Details are still being worked out, but it would possibly mean 1-2 days in class covering safety and mine layers, one day to examine crystals to see what they're looking for, and then a day to dig and another day to break the rocks and select some for samples.

Oh to be a kid... I wonder what the age limit on that is going to be...

(Photos from www.thelope.com - taken during Vreeland's visit a few weeks ago)
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Fork

Stick a fork in me... I'm done... at least for today. Thirty-one hours so far on this project that was supposed to take a day. I think they must have meant a "week." Unfortunately, I'm not done yet. So, I'll get up early in the morning to do more on it before my noon meeting. I knew this was more than a day's worth of work. Admittedly, I'm slow on detail stuff, but I can't be *this* slow compared to everyone else.

I'm so bleary-eyed I can barely focus on the screen. And exhausted. So I just have to sleep a few hours and get up and start again. Keep a good thought for me... I need it.

Working at My Desk

I spent the day hunched over my desk, working on a project that's due Wednesday. I'm not a detail person so this sort of work actually hurts my brain. I mean, physically, it's like my brain aches.

It also just wears me out. How using your brain sitting in a chair can make you physically tired is a mystery, but that's how it works, anyway. At least for me. This is one of those times I wish I could just pop a pill that would take care of my ADD for a few hours so I could focus. Then it would wear off and my brain would go back to jumping from one thing to another like it does naturally.

This afternoon I was so exhausted I took about 30 minutes to go walk in Carey Park. I intended to take some pix, but will next time.

I do so love my office. It's downtown, and those windows you see face Main Street, which is great. I think I've shown pix out the window before, but it has been awhile. I think the last time was during December's ice storm.

I took some pix inside my office when I was essentially living there for a few days during the ice storm. I thought I'd do my own survival guide for office living - hint: a coat rack can double as a clothes dryer - but I never got it done. Maybe before ice season, although I hope I never have need of this info again.

Well, I need to get some sleep. I have much I need to do tomorrow to finish up this project so I need a fresh mind..

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The Wind and The Pain

My friend, Jason, wrote the following on his blog the other day, and it really struck me. Jason will be graduating high school next year, but he's an old soul. He's a thinker. When you meet folks like that, you just know it, instantly. Such was the case when I met Jason at the first peace demonstration. We don't know each other well yet, but we've had a few conversations, and it's always interesting to talk to him.

"I feel as if my life should be lived in black and white. I should be in my twenties, living in a loft apartment. I am none of these things. I should smoke a pipe or cigars, and drink. I would drink something dark, straight from the bottle. I should look tired all the time. I should wear a wrinkled stained old brimmed hat. I do not do any of these things. ...  I should feel discontent with my life. I should have a wonderful story about the girl I love or once loved or thought I loved or something, and how I lost her. And how it hurt, and still hurts, every day of my life."

When I read this it struck me how much of this is still true for me today, even though I'm many years further down the road of life than Jason. Maybe this just speaks to my general lack of maturity, and lack of wisdom gained in those years. Or maybe it's because this is the essential nature of a creative soul.

Creative sorts are always searching, thinking, longing. For what? We're not sure. That changes practically daily, hourly. But we're longing. Aching. Wanting.

What do we do about this? Sometimes we wallow in the wanting. It feels right. We're big on going with our feelings. So, that's what we do. Sometimes we try to address whatever we think is making us miserable today. It's in those moments when we paint pictures and write letters and create businesses and dream. We always dream. Big dreams.

Sometimes, those dreams come true. And sometimes they fall apart, even as we try, desperately, to hold them together. They just dissolve and run through our fingers like fine sand.

Who among us hasn't felt the pain of a lost love that hurts every day? Well, I guess some people haven't. I know people who have only been in love once in their lives. But, the rest of us who didn't get married to our high school sweethearts (would have been hard for me since I didn't have one) can relate to that.

I've been in love more than once and it was love, not just like, not just lust, it was love - deep, abiding, soul-intensive, love. And then it was over. And since then it has hurt every day. At least every day so far. How long has it been since the first love? More years than I want to count. It was back in college, that first love, all those years ago...

Most of us, while in that state of raw pain, have drank straight from the bottle - dark or light or both - whatever was handy. Some also engage in other mind-altering substances to make it through. I suppose if you've lived your life so that you've never felt that longing, that aching, that you can't relate to needing to dull it on occasion.

In some ways I envy that. In other ways I pity that.

Somehow, we all make it through, without nearly as much discontent as one would expect, aside from the longing for something we can't identify that never goes away. But the raw pain of a lost love fades to a manageable level and eventually just becomes a part of who we are. We fold it into our selves. It's part of our being. We don't let it go because it's part of what shapes us as humans. The human we are. The human we're meant to be.

Eventually, the black and white becomes color, and we love again. In the meantime we're thankful for the dreams lived. I've been lucky. Oh, so lucky. I've gotten to live a lot of my dreams, some of which I couldn't even have named until I was in the midst of experiencing them. I've done things. I've met people. I've gone places. I've given into my whims. I've relished in the moment. I've laughed in the darkness and whispered in the morning light. But it all comes with a price.

The sweetness of a brown-eyed man holding me close while we faced into the wind blowing over us from the Mediterranean sea led to a bittersweet goodbye a few days later. But would I trade that moment of standing there on what I considered holy ground, his arms wrapped around me, to avoid that feeling of loss when we parted? No. It was worth it. No question about it. At least for me. I'm not sure he would say the same.

He was sweet. He thought he was in love. He wanted it to never end. But we both knew it would. For once I was the one more realistic about that. He wrote me long letters for many months after I came home, and each one had a bit of his soul poured out on the page. I always wrote him back, but mine were just letters. And he knew it and eventually stopped writing. Of course, then I missed it

I wonder if those days we spent together still hurt him. I hope not. If they do, I at least hope he thinks they were worth the pain.

I have these fantasies of seeing him again, meeting his wife and kids (surely he's married by now), and just witnessing his life in the future. Nothing more. Just to see what it looks like from the other side as you carry those moments of pain with you into the future, less raw but still real.

Some of us need intensity. We need to feel everything. We go full force all the time, and never look back with regret. We feel the wind and the pain, and we appreciate them both.

Thoughtful Conversation

I went to the peace demonstration today and enjoyed seeing everyone. That's Jon, David, Mason and Jason. Not only is it an opportunity to be visible for something I believe in - pointing out that we all need to strive for peace in our world - but it's also a chance to have thoughtful conversation.

Today Jon and I were talking about the art walk the other night and he said something that really resonated with me - one of the things that makes a city the kind of place you want to be is that they're doing things they don't have to do. That's so true. It's simple. It's straightforward. It's perfect. That, in a nutshell, is a hallmark of a city where you want to live.

In this community, as well as many others, there's much discussion about growth. The reason, of course, is simple. You want your taxes to go down? Get more people to move to your town to divide out the costs of your roads, schools, libraries and other services. Yes, you'll see some increase as you increase population. But there's a lot of room to grow before that becomes a losing proposition. Some towns are desperate enough they're giving away free land. We aren't  that desperate here. At least not yet.

Ultimately, towns are growing or they're dying. There really isn't an inbetween. "Static" means you're dying - costs are going up on all kinds of things and yet the number of people you have to pay for them is remaining constant. It doesn't take a Harvard economist to figure out that's a recipe for disaster in the long term.

I've been in multiple meetings and casual discussions where this topic comes up. Always, always, always, someone will say - we need to attract young people. Well, here's a young person - Jon is in his 20s - telling you exactly what you need to do. The problem is not knowing what to do, the problem is getting anyone to actually do it. And, for the record, Jon and I didn't talk about this beyond that original statement. The rest of this is just out of my brain and I don't want to besmirch his good name with any of it.

Part of that is having a community where innovative ideas can flourish. That requires a mindset that is sorely lacking in most institutional settings from cities to colleges to any other thing that is likely to involve a committee. It's not necessarily the fault of the individuals, it's the fault of the system. We have created a system that discourages creativity. Why? Because it's darned messy compared to the rote way of doing things. Budgets are made up of rows and columns of numbers that create line items. We like it that way. It's very straightforward. The last thing you want is some wild card coming in and suggesting doing something that doesn't fit neatly into a line-item. And, therein lies the problem. Because innovative ideas don't happen within line items. Well, not unless you're working for Enron.

Traditionally, I find innovative ideas follow this basic trajectory.
person a: Why don't we ......?
person b: Wow... that's an interesting idea... really innovative... that would certainly accomplish what we're talking about...
person c: Yeah... that's a great idea. But... it's too complex/expensive/difficult/political/fill in the raison d'etre of your choice
person a: I thought you were looking for innovative ideas... they're likely to be a little riskier by definition...
person d: Look, it's a great idea, but it's just too "out there" for the board/committee/council/organization/government/fill in the group of your choice to sign off on it
person c: Yeah, you're right... it will never work... it's a great idea but there's no point in thinking any more about that... Any more ideas, person a?
person a: Nope...(read: what is the point in wasting my breath to speak?)

I suppose part of the answer in this equation is that person a needs to work harder to convince people of the value of the idea. But after this repeats a few dozen times, person a simply stops having the conversation, much less repeating themselves. I've seen this happen over and over again.

Eventually, persons b, c, and d come to the mistaken conclusion and state for the record in yet another meeting, "oh, person a lost interest in the project..." No, person a gave up on you. Person a has moved on to another project, in the hopes that they will be interested in actually doing something. And eventually person a gives up on your community and moves on. And the cycle starts over again... we have to attract young people...

Ultimately, even the logic of "we have to attract young people is flawed," as almost every issue that involves the word "young" is, but that's another long blog post. I'll just sum up by saying that age is very rarely the real issue in any topic where it's used as the answer - from newspaper readership to technology usage - and as long as you keep saying age is a factor you won't ever discover the real issue and address it. Obviously, age is not something you can change. But, in those cases it's not age - it's attitude, which you can change, but no one ever works on it because they stopped at an answer that is the symptom not the cause. Again, a lack of innovative thinking.

But... back to this topic...

Innovative thinking isn't the difficulty for many people. I know lots of innovative thinkers. I could call a half dozen people together who could brainstorm some brilliant ideas for any town about how to get people to move there. The difficulty is in making them happen. Every innovative idea was impossible until someone did it. I'll be the first to admit that those of us who are given to coming up with off the wall ideas are not likely to be the ones that can make them happen. Everyone has strong suits, that's not generally a creative person's bent.

But, somewhere, there are innovative people with business minds who can make them happen. Unfortunately, we've created a system that beats them down so much that they give up. They're the ones who are pointing out why it won't work because they know the system. We have to find a way to open up the system so people can have the flexibility to allow creative ideas to flourish. That is the real problem. I wish I could fix it, but I don't have the mind to even understand it. I long for the day when someone who does have the mind for that can address it.

Of Grain Elevators and Harvest... of zucchini

I decided to spend part of my Friday night doing errands before everyone else is doing them this weekend. Does it seem to you that keeping track of daily life takes a lot of energy? It does to me. Just keeping things like food, toilet paper and other essentials within the four walls of my home requires attention.

As I was leaving the store tonight I noticed the sky was really interesting. It wasn't a particularly colorful sunset, but it was interesting cloud cover. I wanted to get a photo but there was nothing but stoplights and electrical wires where I was. However, as I approached the A Street exit off K-61, turning to come home, I noticed the grain elevator was make a nice silhouette against the sky. The cloud cover had changed a bit, but it was still pretty. Fortunately, there was no one behind me so I stopped to get a nice photo of it.

I'm incredibly thankful that I can locate, buy, and carry home all the essentials, as well as non-essentials, I want in my house. It's worth remembering that millions of people around the world would love to have the "problems" I have, and that I would be well advised to keep my whining to a minimum.

Speaking of essentials, I got my first "harvest" today - a zucchini plant from my little backyard garden. I couldn't really believe it was there since when I looked a few days ago I swear it was only about three inches long. Anyway, I pulled it off trying to investigate it. Generally, I don't like to pick vegetables until I'm ready to use them. I love the idea of getting dinner from the plant to plate in less than an hour. But, that's not the case this time.

However, I'm pretty impressed the zucchini looks good. I've never grown them before, but I knew they grew fast. Fortunately, my neighbor LaVonda told me the other day when I asked that she loves zucchini. At the rate they're going, they'll be growing over the fence into her yard in no time at all.

Much like the raspberry bush I planted a couple of years ago that's now in Bob's garden and very little of it on my side of the fence. I feel awful that it crawled over onto their side. But, nothing I can do about it. I didn't realize that was a problem when I planted it near the fence. Now I know.

Not sure how I'm going to enjoy the first fruits of the garden this season. Considering I only planted this less than a month ago I wasn't really prepared to be thinking about it what to do with zucchini. But, the time has arrived. Maybe I'll see what I can pick up at the farmer's market tomorrow that will go with it.

I also have quite a few green tomatoes on my plants, and I noticed tonight I've got a few volunteer tomato plants coming up, too. I am looking forward to having fresh tomatoes out of my own little patch.

Happiest Day of the year is today

June 20th is the happiest day of the year. So, if you're not happy, get happy! You don't want to mess with academia's expectations, do you?!?!?!?

Cliff Arnall, a psychologist and former tutor at Cardiff University, was commissioned by Walls Ice Cream to carry out the study. He came up with the equation O + (N xS) + Cpm/T + He. O stands for being outdoors and outdoor activity, N is connection with nature, S is socialization with neighbors and friends, Cpm stands for childhood positive memories, T is the mean temperature which is now usually warm, and He is holiday expected.

The fact that June 20 is a Friday helps. I think all of the "happiest days" since he came up with his "formula" have been on Fridays. This one almost slipped by without my notice. Thank goodness I caught it before it was too late to enjoy the happiest day. I could have missed it, what with being completely overwhelmed with work. Good thing it's the happiest day. Otherwise I might be upset. Can't do that now, I suppose.

This formula also allows for calculating the most depressing day of the year which usually falls around the end of January. But, why dwell on this sort of unpleasantness and mar the Happiest Day of the Year?

Now, go forth and be happy!
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