Saturday, November 12, 2005

Moving Things Around

I've spent another day moving things around in my house. It must be my absolute favorite thing in the world to do because I continue to live my life in a way that results in doing it.

I have just some minor touch ups to do in the sun porch and it will be done. I also decided how I want to put the furniture in there but I will need help to do that. I can do lots of things, but moving a piano and a sleeper sofa by myself are not two of them.

I went out to the garage to get the Christmas tree stand out and clean it up. While I was out there I went to the shed that's attached to make sure that's where the bag 'o Christmas tree was. And, for reasons I cannot elucidate, I started cleaning. A couple of hours later, I had a pile of boxes for the trash, some Christmas dishes by the back steps to be brought in, and had located two boxes of prime Christmas ornaments.

I'm sure my garbage men are starting to wonder what in the hell I'm doing. Every week I've got a pile of boxes in addition to an overflowing dumpster. They've been very kind to take them every week. I hope that trend continues because I'll have a big pile this week. Trash day was just yesterday so I get to fight with these in the Kansas wind for a week.

The only problem with cleaning out there are the spiders. I'm not afraid of spiders. I mean, I am like 10 million times bigger than they are and can kill them with my foot. But, after my friend Diana got bitten by a brown recluse and I saw her skin turn black over the course of weeks, I've been a bit more cautious. And, naturally, brown recluse is what one finds in a shed full of stuff that's largely undisturbed. "Recluse" isn't part of their name for no reason.

So, after being out there I headed for a deep cleaning of hair and body. Terry called and we went to get some food. Well, I ate, and he was the entertainment.

As soon as I got home I started cleaning on my find of yesterday. We have a little place in town that years ago was a grocery store that people can rent out for garage sales. They had a table out front that I thought might be nice in my office so I stopped. They wanted too much for it, but I looked around and found a silver teapot for $6. It needs some cleaning so I got some silver polish and tonight started working on it a bit. I think it's going to clean up nicely. I don't generally do silver because of the whole polishing thing, but this was such a nice piece that I couldn't resist. I also got a milk glass cake plate for $2.

Since I've been on the organizing/cleaning jag I have not been going to flea markets or garage sales or anything of that nature. But, these are things I already collect so I thought I could say yes to them. But, I did not start any new collections - a very important thing for me.

Transvestites Doing Tricks

I love to watch Univision. My Spanish isn't good enough to understand any of it, but it's not like you need the language. Today it's transvestites doing tricks.

I just watched a guy with a red plaid skirt, and high riding blouse showing his tummy hair, and a fushia feather boa kick off his high heels so he could climb onto a big air mattress thing that had a hole in the middle of it from which a mechanical bull protruded. He rode the bull... for about four seconds.

Now there's a man in an impossibly bright blue dress who's working the stripper pole. The weirdest part is the hose - he has on blue hose. They make blue hose? I didn't know. At one point his skirt fell off, but this didn't slow him down.

I guess these aren't real transvestites. There's way too much facial and body hair for them to be serious transvestites. So, they're play transvestites doing tricks.

I guess they all do the stripper pole and the mechanical bull. What a bizarre combination. Of course, why should that be a surprise.

Speaking of transvestites... and weren't we just doing that... and how often can you really toss that into the conversation... so... Speaking of transvestites, I saw our local one on his bike yesterday. He was sporting a knee length black dress with sequins and his ever present cigarette.

I always find it curious that they are not interested in "normal" female clothes, which would be jeans and a t-shirt, but in things that are so over the top that no real woman would ever wear them. OK, I guess that was made for a real woman, but she was probably "working" while wearing it, if you get my drift. Either working for money or for dinner or for a date or whatever - but "working" nonetheless.

I always feel for people who are not happy with their gender, it must be very difficult to live that way. Of course, transvestites may be happy with their gender but want to dress as the other. It's a puzzle to me, but it's cool with me - as long as you're not my boyfriend. Sorry... not that liberal... my boyfriend can't be wearing my clothes. And, I'm happy to say this have never been an issue with any man in my life.

I used to work with a transvestite, although we found that out after the fact. When I imagine him dressed as a woman, he's probably like some of the guys on this show.

Did I mention the host of the show is wearing a white suit with fake fur trim? You should try to catch it. I don't know if it's always transvestites doing tricks, or if they branch out.

Running With Scissors

"Running with Scissors" is a book by Augusten Burroughs in which he details his unorthodox upbringing that had more than it's share of abuse, although he would probably not define it that way.

Throughout the book, you have to keep reminding yourself that it's not fiction. A pedophile, a crazy psychiatrist and a lesbian mother become backdrop of a most unusual childhood.

One of the things I love in a book is great character development. This has it. No question about it. On the 5 point scale, I give it a 5.

One of my new favorite fantasy dinner parties is Augusten Burroughs and David Sedaris talking. I just want to listen.