Friday, December 12, 2008

Time Going Quickly

The Christmas season is zipping by much faster than I want it to. It's only two weeks until Christmas now. It always happens this way. No matter how early I start, I'm still decorating up until the last possible moment before I start entertaining and then it seems I just don't have enough time to enjoy everything.

There's something magic to me about everyone else also being in the holiday mood. That increases my own joy. I have considered starting to entertain in November, but I don't think others would be in the mood for that.

Last night was Creative Sisterhood and Julie and Teresa stayed for awhile afterwards and just enjoyed all the trees. Teresa mentioned she thinks my main tree is more sculpture than Christmas Tree. Truth be told, the tree really isn't visible - it's encrusted with ornaments. She said surely there would be museums or shopping malls that would pay me to come and create a tree for them. That would be a cool job. I wouldn't want to do but a couple each year, because they take many hours, but it would be fun to see people enjoy them.

I love to share the decorations with people so it was fun that they stayed around to enjoy them. It's really the only time I've had people over in the evening this season since I've had everything done. Generally I do a lot of gatherings but I just haven't had the energy this year. I am really looking forward to my open house Saturday, and the kid's event next week, but I don't have anything else planned.

So far this season I've been pretty solitary, and it has suited me up until now, but I am looking really forward to having friends over Saturday night. Parts of my life feel very out of control right now, and I'm spending part of every day putting myself back together after the world tries to tear me apart. But every moment I don't have to interact with the world I can be devoted to pure Christmas joy.

We only get so many Christmases in a lifetime and I want to enjoy every one of them. I've been steeling myself since Jim's death in January, knowing that this year that would be hard in some ways. But, I know Jim would have appreciated that my holiday excessiveness makes me happy. He would have thought I was a little off my rocker, but if it made me happy to go for it. Our mother and Jim were very alike in that regard. I guess Jackie and I have a lot of that in us too - the "if it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone, go for it" approach to life. It's not a bad way to live.

I'm realizing I have very few evenings left in which to go look at Christmas lights around town. I haven't done that at all since things got full force underway. I was waiting to do it with Greg and I realized today that I'm not going to have much opportunity to do it next week so I think I'll not get much of that done this year. But, I have my own decorations to enjoy and they make me very happy.

Last night I pulled the couch out into the middle of the living room, got a Christmas pillow and a quilt, and went to sleep looking at the Christmas tree. I always wake up a bunch of times during the night, and when I woke up a couple of hours later I turned it off and went upstairs to sleep the rest of the night. But, it was a really nice way to go to sleep. I'm thinking I may do the same tonight.

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