Trish and I had yet another fascinating conversation at lunch today, discussing friendship and how to encourage people to share on a meaningful level. The best description I can come up with is that I want people to share something personal with me, something real, something about them.
I haven't figured out how to get people to tell me about them - not their children or grandchildren, not their jobs, not their posessions - but them... what they think and feel... what they've read recently that struck them... something meaningful. I'm not asking for everyone's deep, dark secrets, but I need more than chit chat.
When I find people unwilling to share themselves it's hard for me to build a relationship beyond a surface one. And I'm not really interested in a surface relationship. If I don't know who you are at your core how can I bond with you?
If I wanted to know about your son I'd invite him to get together. If I wanted to know about your job I'd come visit you at work. I want to know about you. You are enough. I don't need you to "fluff up" your conversation with other people and their accomplishments. You are enough. Just you.
So far I haven't figured out how to move beyond this fluff with some folks. I want the real person, not the ancillary people and events in your world. Just you.
Well, time for me to go turn on the electric blanket. It's frigid here. I have water running in the kitchen and will turn it on in the bathroom sink when I go upstairs. It's supposed to be 4 degrees at 8 a.m., with a wind chill of 20 below. I'm sure I'll feel it when I go out to warm up the car. Yikes.
I'm so thankful for a warm house. It's easy to take those things for granted because we're used to them. But, I'm thankful.