Thursday, September 03, 2009

Making an Impact

I'm in a really introspective mood lately. Actually, I've been this way for quite some time now, and it doesn't show any signs of stopping. It doesn't seem a bad thing, really, but I can't say I've come to any earth-shattering conclusions about - well - anything. It's all an internal churning of thoughts.

I've lost interest in the "business of the world," for lack of a better term. The flu, the latest kidnap story, Michael Jackson's funeral - I just can't muster any interest in any of them - not that I would have ever said I had a lot.

Much of this is due, I believe, to the fact that I feel I cannot, in any way, affect these things. I barely give a passing glance to politics these days. Yes, I want a health care plan that is available regardless of your employer or pre-existing conditions or whatever. But can I affect that beyond the most basic of ways? I don't think so. I can vote. I can be vocal. But beyond that there's not much I can do. And, frankly, I can't be bothered to waste my time on things I can't impact.

So, the logical question would be, what can I impact? I suppose that is the million dollar question. And maybe that's what I'm trying to figure out with these mental gymnastics.

I can impact the people in my immediate world. I can be pleasant to people I'm crossing paths with, wherever I am. I can offer a little help here and there. Does it impact someone when I donate to kiva? Yes. But would it not happen if I weren't doing it? No. It would be happening anyway because someone else would be doing it. So, what can I really impact?

Looking at my history is one way to find some answers. What have I really had an impact on in life? What is different because I interacted with it in some way? Those are heady questions and worthy of some examination.

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