Monday, October 19, 2009

The Last



This may be the last bouquet of the season. My flowers are nearing the end of their life cycle. Of course, it has been chilly here off and on for a few weeks, so it's not surprising that the flowers are about done, but nonetheless it's one of the obvious signs of the seasonal changes.

I stopped taking flowers into the office a few weeks ago when they became ragged looking. Some of them have hung on during these cold nights, but most are about finished.

I grew all of these things from seed when I was so infatuated with growing flowers this spring. I think after surgery I just needed to see new life and that was one way to do it. Now I'm facing more surgery as the last blooms are coming through.

Sharon and her crew came over a few days ago and cleaned up my yard, pulling out the plants that were done and tidying everything up. I was so relieved to pull into the drive and see it done. It has been on my mind how I would get it done so I'm so thankful to her for doing it. She owns Releaf Landscapes and is very generous with her talents.

This has been a very difficult day, mentally preparing for surgery. I had psyched myself up for surgery but they threw me a curve ball today when I visited with the surgeon. Then I got back to work and found yet another curve ball. So, it has been a difficult day. But, I'll manage. I have no other choice.

I got to see Steve briefly tonight. He drove Greg back to Hutchinson from Joplin and we visited for just a little bit. He was turning right around and going back to Joplin. I always enjoy visiting with Steve. He's a great writer, and like all good writers, thinks about things in a different way, which I enjoy.

I'm feeling rather disconnected these days. I have that feeling of "circling the wagons" and preparing things like I did earlier this year. The difference this time is that I'm doing it alone, but that's okay. This isn't the same sort of situation. Part of me wants to postpone this, but a bigger part of me wants to start 2010 fresh, with none of this hanging over me.

Well, it's time for me to head upstairs. I couldn't get to sleep last night for a long time, and then woke up really early this morning, so I'm tired. Maybe tonight I'll be so tired I'll sleep despite what's on my mind.
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