Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Lesbians and Goat Farming

Regular readers of this blog know one of my favorite things is bits of Overheard Conversation. Well, tonight was a freaking goldmine at dinner. This man, with three friends in the booth with him, was talking loud enough that everyone could have heard, but I really had the best seat in the house because my back was to him and he was talking in my direction.

Man: "Jamie has been the best of my girlfriends and wives."
Friend: "Which one is she?"
Man: "She's the lesbian."


Man: "The kids are a little confused."
Friend: "Why?"
Man: "Well, Daddy and Mommy aren't living together but there's this other woman there."
Other Friend: "Who's that?"
Man: "That's her lover."
Other Friend: "I thought you were still living there."
Man: "Yeah, I lived there for about a month after we broke up. But it was... awkward... I could hear them and she was never like that with me."


Man: "I want to get married again. You know what I miss?"
Friend: "Sex?"
Man: "No... well... kinda... but I didn't have a lot of that to begin with. I miss coming home to my wife and kids. I want to get married again."


Through more self control than I thought I possessed I was able to not jump up and say, "well, duh, she was a lesbian - of course she didn't want to have sex with you." I actually couldn't imagine too many straight women wanting to have sex with this guy, but I'm guessing the attraction for a lesbian would be somewhat less. However, apparently she was attracted enough to him to have three children. So, what do I know?

Ah, but there was more wisdom to come... true wisdom... southern wisdom...


Smart Friend - who has been silent up until now: "You know what I think you ought to do?"
Man: "No. What?"
Smart Friend: "I think you oughta move to the south."
Man: "Why's that?"
Smart Friend: "Maybe it'll put some sense into you.
Man: "What do you mean?"
Smart Friend: "In the south, when a man decides he's going to have a goat farm, he either has some goats or some land."
Man: "Goats?"
Smart Friend: "You got no woman and no home, much less a marriage and family life. Only yankees come up with these stupid ideas about goat-farming without having goats or land."

Fun Weekend

This weekend Greg's girlfriend, Mia, came to visit so we were all hanging out. It was nice to have people around over the weekend. I was cleaning things around the house and just piddling around and it's nice to have people around when you're doing that.

I've done so much laundry it's amazing. But, all those tablecloths and napkins from the tea had to be washed, not to mention all the dishcloths and towels I mess up when I cook.

I bought a new chair for my home office and Greg put it together for me, which was nice. I think I'll take the old one up to the studio. Tonight I bought another one for the office - I'm way overdue for one there - something ugly happened to that one in one of the many office moves. It's $100 off of a $149 chair, so it's a good deal.

Jesse called yesterday afternoon and wanted to know if we wanted to get something to eat. Mia had to leave to get back to Joplin, but Greg and I went out with Jesse to Applebees last night. It was good to see him. I always enjoy Jesse. He's a real thinker and that's always interesting.

All in all it was a productive weekend, but also a fun one. Sometimes when it's a holiday weekend what I really need is for the rest of the world to stop and not bring anything new into my world. That was certainly the case this time.

I've been working on clearing out some things in my home office. I'm not sure how it gets so incredibly piled, but it does. I'm about to give in and accept that I just need to put shelves up on every available wall surface. It's the only way I can seem to effectively organize anything.

I told Teresa years ago that I needed a house that was full of shelves and tables, because everything I like to do requires table space, and misc. stuff that needs to be stores. It seems that was prophetic.

Oh... I have another photo I wanted to share with you of Greg at Diana's store the other day. I love this - you can see Diana in the mirror.