Tuesday, May 20, 2008


This has been a Monday. Wow. Definitely a Monday.

Did you know that stress is a factor in the seven leading causes of death in the US? It is. It's a real killer. Literally. 75% of doctor visits in the US have a stress component. There's a reason more heart attacks occur on Monday mornings than any other time of the week.

I have a-fib, and for me it's very stress dependent. People really, really, really stressed me out today and my heart went into a-fib. It was quite a while before it went back to normal. I wonder if they would take a sadistic pleasure in knowing they made me miserable for awhile? Fortunately, now it is normal again and I feel much better - just a little strung out.

The end of April through mid May is a difficult time for me. I always feel like I should get a medal for just getting through it with my sanity (such as it is) intact. When am I going to "get over it?" I have no idea. I'll just feel the way I feel until I don't feel that way anymore.

I wonder how the "business oriented" types handle loss. Do they just drop in for their mother's  funeral at 10 and are back at work by 11:30? I truly don't know, but that's how they act.

I'm just not built that way. Loss is serious to me. It's still fresh, although no longer raw. I don't know, and don't want to know, how to be that cavalier about it.

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Anonymous said...

I am sorry for your pain Patsy.

I'm sure the majority of folks are also sorry for your pain.

People worry when they see someone who is obviously in pain. They often tap into the coping tools that kept them moving forward when they had to deal with everyday life while also coping with personal pain.

Often when people tell you to move forward, they do so because they know how easy it is to let it all overwhelm you.

Then grief is compounded by harsh financial reality on the part of the person grieving and there's a double whammy.

It's part of the culture of surviving.

I don't deny there are some mean spirited folks in the world but the majority of people have good intentions.

Be Well Lady.

Think about other folks just maybe caring about you in a way that is culturally different than your own.

Patsy Terrell said...

Thanks. It will pass I'm sure.