Saturday, January 30, 2010

Things and Emotional Baggage

I've been working on the house all day. It seems this is how I spend my weekends these days, but I have made some progress. I'm not sure how many weekends it will take, but far more than what I've given it thus far.

I took two more bags of stuff to donate today and have another one ready to go. I have too much in this house - specifically I have too many clothes. And many of them are things other people can get some use out of so I'm sending them out into the world so someone else can give them good homes.

Thankfully I'm getting able to move things around that I haven't been able to do for awhile. I moved a couple of dressers in the bedroom today. Admittedly, they were on rollers, and didn't have much in them, but I was able to move them. I'm now cleared to do anything like that, with the admonition to always be aware of how it feels to lift and not to hurt myself. I'm still being ultra careful with everything.

I'm looking forward to having my house reclaimed. I'm not sure how long it's going to take, but it's certainly going to be a process. Things are really out of control. I'm not the sort of housekeeper where things are always going to be spotless, but liveable is good. And it isn't even livable in some places right now.

Things - whatever they are, but particularly clothes - can really carry some emotional baggage. If we get fixated on a time or style it is important to consider why - what was happening at that point in our lives. What are we trying to hold onto? I've been asking myself that a lot recently and sending things off to go to new homes.

I was also surprised today to find things that I thought I had long ago gotten rid of that were from an earlier relationship. But, there it was, staring back at me, from a stash of things in my bedroom. Not only was it still around, but in the most personal room of the house. I immediately put it in a bag to be donated, and made it a point to get it dropped off as quickly as possible just to get it out of my life. I had to chuckle at how hard it seems to be to disengage yourself from some situations - you think you've done it and yet you haven't - and there's the proof. At least it had no emotion attached to it today, other than just to get it out of my life, and marvel that it was still around.

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