Thursday, September 20, 2012

Gracious or Pragmatic

"You're gracious," a friend wrote in an email to me today. It was in response to my  reaction to some news she had shared. It's very flattering she believes me to be gracious, and goodness knows I try. But sometimes I think my "graciousness" is really just pragmatism, dressed up in fancier clothes.

I grew up in a situation where I learned early you had to pick your battles. I don't mean that in the sense of fighting, but in determining what you're going to give energy to.

We all have a limited amount of resources - there's only so much time, energy and stomach lining to devote to anything. Life presents some unexpected things that demand a considerable amount of those resources. What is left is all we have to devote to what we desire.

Simple math told me early to live life in a way that taxed those limited resources as little as possible. It's why I have no people in my life who thrive on drama. I don't indulge in worry, fear or regret because they all take energy, but accomplish nothing. Instead I will save those resources for things that restore me, encourage me and energize me.

So, maybe I'm gracious. But maybe I'm just practical.

However, for today, I think I will just revel in the idea of being gracious. It's such a lovely thought.

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