From my brain...

I've been going through tons of journals and idea books - books where I just jot down something that comes to my mind.

Here's one from March 4, 2003 - during a conversation with Greg while I was on the road in Houston (I think). I was headed down to the coast and told him I hadn't looked at a map, which is a continual discussion between us. He thinks one should look at maps. I think one can just play it by ear.

Eventually I said, "I don't know where I'm going, but I'm going there at 70 mph."

Ten Rules on Vision

I've been reading notes from a conference I attended at some point. Unfortunately, I can't give credit, because I didn't jot down who was speaking. However, the vision information is valuable, I think.

From my notes:
Vision must be bold. It drives all that comes after it.

Ten Rules for Vision

10. Understand what vision can do.
9. Vision drives all that you do. (What would the world be like 3-5 years from now?)
8. Vision speaks to the heart of why you do what you do - passion - don't start without it.
7. If you don't have a vision, get one.
6. If it doesn't motivate and inspire, it's not vision. To inspire it has to be bold.
5. It you believe it, you will see it.
4. It's all about passion.
3. Celebrate baby steps.
2. Dream your dream and dream big. It has to be big and to shake people up.
1. When you achieve it, start over.

Good Practice to Give a Little Something Extra

I recently ordered some audio equipment from BSW and when I unpackaged it found this on the top of the contents. It's just a little card, thanking me for my order, with a piece of candy stapled to it.

It didn't cost them much to do, even accounting for someone stapling the candy onto the card. But it left an impression on me. Did I need a piece of candy? No. Did I enjoy it? Absolutely.

As a public relations person, I have to say they did a couple of things that are brilliant.
1. They surprised me. From my years of reading about the brain and how it's structured, I know that surprise gives us reason to remember something in a different way.
2. They gave me a little some extra. Yeah, it's a piece of candy, but who doesn't like a piece of candy?
3. They chose a somewhat unusual kind of candy. I'll now have a nice association between the two.

And, ultimately, here I am writing about it. So, there's a little more proof that it worked.

It reminded me that giving people a little something extra in a surprising way is very good practice. Now to find ways to implement that into daily life.

Flag Day Photos

I love this photo taken during a walking tour of downtown Hutchinson last fall.



This was taken in Alma, Kan. this spring.



The remains of a home in Joplin.

Quote of the Day

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
                                                                 - Helen Keller

Scenes of the Day

'Tis the season for the Farmer's Market.



I want all garden areas in my yard to have this look of flowers blending into one another. Unfortunately, I only have one little part that looks this way. I grew the purple and white ones here from seed in previous years. This year I just decided I didn't have the time to devote to little seedlings.



It seems everywhere I turn these days there are messages.

I just need to figure out what my gifts are, and how best to use them.

The Home Office

A few weeks ago I started cleaning in my home office. It had gotten so bad there was really only a path to my desk and barely enough room for the keyboard on top of the desk. I ran out of time to complete the task, but made tremendous progress.

Oddly enough, when I was doing it I thought, "Hmmmm... well, this will stir up something." I guess it did.

This afternoon and evening I've been working on some other things in here and I've come to some conclusions.

1. I need to gather up all my change, cash it in, and come up with a new system. My old system is just tossing coins here and there. Eventually there are piles that spill off the edge of the desk and it's a mess. I now have a container for them. We'll see how this goes.

2. Apparently I collect blue bunnies. I didn't know this about myself, but I have four in here. I bought one of them 3-4 years ago at Easter. The others have come to me by way of Easter gifts. I just noticed today they're all blue - even the Pez dispenser.

3. I am a pen addict. I already knew this about myself, but it's worse than even I realized. I already had two containers full of pens on my desk, and another three on the shelves near my desk. I had four containers on the desk at the Cosmosphere and when I sorted through them to bring my pens home and leave theirs I still had mostly full holders. I like pretty colors of ink, what can I say?

4. I have a lot of stationery. I also knew this about myself. It kind of goes well with the pens, when you think about it. But, I mean, I have a LOT of stationery. A lot.

5. I have enough postage to send almost all of that stationery out into the world. I have everything from one cent stamps on up. I get some odd satisfaction out of mixing and matching to get to the correct amount. No, I don't know why. I just do.

No doubt the personal archeaology dig will continue in coming days.

Creative People

Tonight I had a long phone conversation with one of the authors I consult with about social media. It was a great conversation - free ranging and broad in scope. It was like having a great talk over tea.

I was reminded again of just how much I enjoy creative people. The mind of a creative person just works differently. So does the spirit, I think.

I need to spend more time with creative people. Just recently I wrote about needing writer friends, and that's definitely true, too. Synergy happens when creative people get together and I need more of that in my life.

Julia Cameron suggests "artist dates" with yourself to get your creative juices flowing. I have many, many creative ideas - the challenge is finding the right focus for them. I think that while I'm in this transition phase I'm going to make certain that every day moves one or more projects closer to completion. It's a good goal.

My Little World

For the first time in my adult life, I am unemployed. Well, in the sense that I don't have a full-time job working for someone at the moment.

I was called in today and told it would be my last day - that my position was being eliminated. They just hired someone to raise money and they're going to have her do events as well. They're giving all the marketing and PR to an ad agency.

My work was complimented - including event planning, social media, and writing. I was hoping I'd have more time for those things now. There's so much potential in those areas for the museum it was an exciting proposition. But, it was not to be. At least not in this form.

I really liked this job and felt well-suited to it, so I'm sad about leaving. It's an amazing facility with dedicated people who do incredible work. I'm glad I got to be part of the team. Tomorrow would have been my two year anniversary.

Fortunately, I have a lot of freelance work that I've done and not yet been paid for, so that's good.

I'm oddly calm about it all. The universe has made it abundantly clear it's time to do something else. I've been thinking for a few months that I needed to consider what was next. I guess the universe decided to make it official. There must be something fabulous waiting for me just around the corner.

Honoring the Past

I have always been a big proponent of honoring the past. I want to preserve buildings and other bits and pieces of history. It seems important to have those things around to help us remember the lessons learned in earlier times.

For the last few weeks I've been writing about some particular events in my own life. It's not a memoir, and I doubt I will ever publish it anywhere, which should be a relief to other people who are part of the stories. It's just a way for me to process some things and to look for common threads. I'm playing connect the dots, I suppose.

The thought that has continued to occur to me through this process is that the past doesn't always deserve honoring. Sometimes it might be best buried.

One of my mottos for living has always been, "Let it go. Let it be. Let it lie." I'm going against my own advice by not letting things lie. But I've been getting messages for a few months that I need to write these stories. I even had that repeated multiple times this past weekend at the writing workshop. So, I'm writing.

Perhaps there's a reason I don't yet understand. But I am not finding much worth honoring in this past - about me or anyone else involved. Perhaps time will reveal the reasons.

Another Inspiring Story

This story seems hard to believe, but it's a wonderful one.

Tallgrass Writing Workshop

I spent the weekend in Emporia at the Tallgrass Writing Workshop. As usual it was inspiring and wonderful.

I left with two realizations:
1. I absolutely must write the story I most do not want to write. I've been avoiding it for decades. It is time. It will be messy and awful. But then it will be done.
2. I do not write fiction the way most people do. And I need to stop trying to do it the "right" way and do it the way I do it. Doing it my way I can knock out a decent chapter every day - not that it doesn't need some revising, but it's decent. Doing it the "right" way means I fritter away a lot of time on things that aren't actually writing or rewriting.

Saturday Nights

A person can have a far worse Saturday night than listening to author/musician W.C. Jameson. A far, far worse Saturday night.

This, after a day of inspiration from other writers, gives a girl much to churn around in the subconscious tonight. I'm keeping a notebook by the bed - who knows what gems in dreams may come out of this mix of goodies. Of course, I keep a notebook by the bed every night, but I'm anticipating it may get more use in the morning than on the average day.

Max McCoy always puts together a great experience for everyone at the Tallgrass Writing Workshop in Emporia. Two things happen every year I come:
1. I want to spend more time talking to Max and the other writers who live here, as well as the other attendees.
2. I think I might like to live in Emporia.

Emporia has a really active writing community and I need writer friends. Desperately. I have pretty much given up on that face to face where I live. I've tried to find it. I've tried to build it. I think the time has arrived for me to accept that I cannot will it into existence.

The cherry on top of the day was bumping into Phillip Finch, in the local chocolate shop. And to think I almost talked myself out of a visit there after lunch. Just another reason you should always have chocolate.

Absent

In the past seven years, I've written about my life almost every day on this website. If you're a regular reader, you know I've been absent for the past week.

I went to Joplin for the Memorial Day Weekend, and in addition to trying to process the tornado damage, a series of other events happened. I only returned to Hutchinson late Thursday.

Here a week later, everyone is okay, and I'm thankful for that.

In addition, part of what I went there for - to do some freelance radio news pieces - is done. I'm quite pleased some of the work and am grateful to those who shared their stories to help the rest of us understand what they're going through.

I have a hundred stories to share, and I was only gathering them for a couple of days. I hope to share some of them here eventually, but other things are pressing on me at the moment.

It's hard to believe it's only a footnote to the past week, but we did receive press credentials for President Obama's visit and it was great to see him again - now that he's president. "See" is a bit of a misnomer because during the event I was near the radio mult box, which did not allow a good view. But, I did get to see him when he was shaking hands afterwards. Unfortunately, I was not in the "hand shaking zone."

I hope to be back to a more normal schedule here, but other things in my life are taking precedence at the moment.

I'll just wrap by saying, if you're looking to aid the people of Joplin, you have not missed your window of opportunity. They are going to need assistance for some time to come. If you want to give directly to a church in the area that's doing relief work, I was very impressed with Grace Baptist Church and their approach. Obviously, give to who you wish.

Brilliance From Artist Robert Genn

"Serious artists have an obligation to themselves to secure a strong cash flow so money worries are left behind. Travel, study, challenge, exploration and even down-time can be expensive, but they are the life blood of creativity."
---- Robert Genn

I've been reading artist Robert Genn's newsletter for years. It's because of this sort of wisdom. No wonder I want to travel, study, explore and have quiet time.

White

In the studio recently I was thinking about how I used to resist using a lot of white. I wanted the boldness of pure colors. White seemed so blah. I know many artists will find that a really odd approach, but I wanted the intensity.

Then, as I developed some new techniques, I started to reach for the white more and more often. I began to like how it set off some of the bright colors, and the soft tones when I used it for blending.

At first glance white may seem so "absent." In reality, of course, white is a mix of all colors while black is the absence of any.

I've been thinking about that more and more - how things are often not what they seem at first glance. And how something that seems to be "nothing" can be a critical part of a process.

White brings all the colors to bear. It can provide a luminosity no other color can. It can make other colors blend in different ways, leaving their hues intact.

I'm guessing the lesson for me is to remember things are not always what they seem, and to be open to rethinking.

Cookie Book Now Available

This little book has 13 of my favorite cookie recipes - all from my personal files.

It's a Kindle book and priced at 99 cents.

If you don't own a Kindle you can get a free app for the computer or phone.

Quote of the Day

Choices are the hinges of destiny.
Pythagoras

I've been reminded a lot lately just how fragile life is, in all its forms. Whether we're talking about those we love, a friendship, a business or anything else, they all have a life. And they're all fragile.

We make choices every day that affect us in the short and long term. We do it without even thinking about it and yet the results are profound.

I've come to the conclusion that one of the hardest things for people to grasp is that not everyone else has the same choices. We can't all chose from the same set of possibilities for ourselves. That seems so obvious and simple, and yet it's something I've only come to see recently.

We can only make a decision - good or bad - from the options we see. If we don't have the luxury of a full roster of choices, our decisions are limited to begin with, and so is the likelihood of a positive outcome.

Joplin Tornado Update

Greg and his mom are both fine in Joplin. I'm so thankful.

When I look at the rubble of the Walmart where Greg's mom was when the tornado hit, I'm amazed anyone got out alive. Of course, not everyone did. She escaped with some cuts and bruises, but nothing major.

They have electricty and phone service at the house, as well as running water. The water isn't safe to drink, but they can shower and such. They are very fortunate the house is functional, although it's damanged.

Within a couple of blocks of his mom's house there are lots of houses without roofs. Within another block there are houses that are rubble.

He has internet, although it's intermittent. There is no cable so they haven't seen nearly as much of the damage as the rest of us have.

Greg's phone service is also intermittent. He can text sometimes when he can't call.

I know many of his friends are checking this blog to see what's going on. That's the wrap up. They are both alive and well and waiting out tonight's storms at a friend's shelter.

Respect

A few weeks ago I had the most extraordinary lunch with a friend. It was like six months of therapy over a lunch hour. We both cried, we both laughed, we both left changed.

We started by discussing respect. She asked how I came to have so much self-respect. I had never thought about it before but after considering it for a moment I boiled it down to self-talk. I'm always thinking I have as much right to be wherever, and doing whatever, as anyone else.

But, of course, I had to remind her there is a dark side to that as well. Whenever anyone does anything I feel is disrespectful, I just snap. It's an immediate reaction, with no "stop and think about this" mode, and the aftermath can be messy. People can be shocked by the vehement reaction that seems to be coming out of nowhere.

Since we had that conversation I've been mulling it over in the back of my mind, considering respect and how I came to be this person. What I've uncovered is yet another thing in a long list that I can trace to specific events in childhood.

It seems no matter what we do or say or accomplish or learn or achieve, we never "get above our raisin'." I am so weary of repeating these lessons. I wish I would learn whatever I need to learn so I could move on with regard to this.

Joplin

Joplin has been hit hard by a tornado. It's hard to get information in or out, but I do know that Greg, his mom, and Mia are all okay.

Greg's mom was at Wal-mart when it hit, and the store was essentially destroyed. Her car was not driveable I gather, but someone brought her home. Her home has some damage, but they are all okay.

I've talked to Greg briefly a couple of times, but it's hard to keep a signal for any amount of time. I was very, very, very happy to hear his voice.

Thanks to my sister in law, Mattie, who told me about it. I was driving and didn't know it had happened. Also thanks to Mark and Sharon who were helping keep me informed.

Obviously, as I write this, information is sketchy. But the most important thing is that they are okay.

The Prairie in the Spring

Driving home from the Sampler Festival I snapped this photo of cows grazing along the road. It's such a rarity to see cows wandering on the prairie anymore. They're generally penned up in dirt lots and the stench reaches you before you can see them.

These bucolic scenes of cattle grazing are yet another disappearing sight. It's one I will miss.

In fact, I already do.

Fear

What are you missing out on because of fear?

Most of us will work harder to avoid something we fear than we will to seek something we desire. That's staggering to think about, really. Ultimately, what we most desire is to avoid what we fear. Odd to think of it that way.

Fear is a powerful emotion. Relationships, careers, and countries have fallen prey to it.

It's easy to slip into that space of working to avoid instead of working to seek. I'm trying to regularly ask myself which I'm doing.

Why Must There Always Be Snakes

When I went to the Garden of the Gods visitor center at Pike's Peak in Colorado Springs a few weeks ago, this was the sign I was greeted with near the door. You may note is says, "Rattlesnake Presentation," at 1:15.
I didn't wait around for it. No doubt it involved some wisdom like, "Rattlesnakes are on the move," and "If you poke at 'em you're likely to get bit." Since I'd already learned this at Palo Duro Canyon from Marvin some years ago, and have absolutely no intention of poking at any snake, I didn't feel the need.

I'm delighted to say so far I've not seen any snakes this year, or been bitten by any. This is good. Very good.

Stone Fences

I've always loved stone fences. When I went to school at UK, I would drive around the area outside of Lexington and see them on the farms.

There are some places in Kansas where you see them, too. Recently I ran across this marker near Alma, Kansas, that explains a law in 1867 abolished open range and landowners got forty cents per rod (a little over 16 feet) to build and maintain a 4 1/2 foot stone fence.


Needless to say, that spurred many pioneers to start building. Some of the fences are in disrepair now, which is sad. They're a testament to another time.

Conversation Confusion

Recently I wrote about a friend telling me she feels like she can just enjoy her life now because she's already done what she came to do. I was so struck by this idea of just enjoying life that I mentioned it to a group of friends one night and was really surprised by the reaction.

In general, the reaction was that a person who's 30 can't possibly know they've done what they came to do. I was shocked by that, and vehemently disagree with it.

Age has very little to do with our perceptions of the world and our place in it if we are thinking people. Yes, we mature, and interact with the world differently, but we are who we are from a very young age.

I believe we enter the world with a set of tasks to complete, lessons to learn, and lessons to teach. I also think we instinctively know when they are complete. I was totally taken aback that anyone would question someone else's knowing, even in the abstract.

I wondered if it was coming from a place of, "How dare this 30 year old feel like she's done what she needs to do and here I am almost twice as old and I haven't?" I don't ascribe to that thinking.

At 49 there are certainly some things I'm much smarter about how I handle, but there are also things I'm very "immature" about. The number of years I've been alive has little to do with either. It continually comes up in my life that I'm about 12-13 years behind my age peers in some ways, but that's a different long blog post for another time.

That said, I am fundamentally, at my core, the same person I was when I was 10 or 20 or 30. I may react to things differently, people may see me differently, but internally my thought processes are the same - other than I have more experience and information to use to process events, and more language to describe them. That, of course, makes for a richer life experience, but if I had completed my life's task by age 30 I would have known it. No question about it.

I let the subject drop, but it pointed out to me - yet again - how out of step I am with people in general. It never, ever, ever, ever occurred to me that anyone would question if someone had an internal knowing that their tasks were completed. I was mentioning it in the context of her thought that she could now just enjoy her life. I found that idea so amazing. I never imagined it would turn into the discussion it did.

I've noticed in the last few years I've become quieter. In fact, I've written about that here before. I think this is why - the conversation I am party to sometimes is so alien that I can't relate. So, it becomes easier to write, read and think than to try and engage.

Saving Libraries

I love libraries. And I fear for libraries.

Remember travel agents? Only if you're old enough to remember a time when they closely held all the information we can now access online when we book our tickets and make our own travel arrangements.

Remember newspapers? There used to be one in every town of any size. In larger towns there were multiple choices. Now they're an endangered species, trying to figure out how to make a living in this new world.

I think they're going to do it, but it's messy. (Unsolicited Tip to Newspapers: Taking a business model that isn't working offline - subscriptions - and just moving it online isn't the answer. Be innovative. Try a new model. I have some ideas for you, but that's another discussion.)

Remember libraries is not the next thing I want to read in this list.

But libraries are going to have to make some changes to prevent that. The most simple and straightforward one is hire a marketing person and listen to them. Give them some power in the chain of authority and let them do you some good. Yes, it may be uncomfortable for the quiet librarian types. But if you don't do it you're going to be gone.

I ran across this story the other day and I can guarantee you that some of those ideas came from a marketing-oriented brain. If you are involved in a library, hire yourself a marketing person while they can still do you some good. And let them. Please, let them.

http://www.salon.com/books/libraries_and_librarians/?story=/books/laura_miller/2011/05/11/nypl_centennial

The Magic of Water

This was taken at a friend's house and it makes me think I want to live on a piece of land with some water running through it. He can easily walk down to this from the back of his house, and I'm starting to really appreciate that closeness of moving water.

I grew up with a creek nearby, but since I left home at 17 I haven't lived with water nearby. I think the time is coming when that will be more important - to be surrounded by some land - with moving water on it.

There's something magic about water. It washes us clean and strips away what is clinging to us - and maybe what we're clinging to. It can be terrifying and yet calming.

I am a person of rivers and maybe one never leaves that behind. Maybe if you're born to that it is always with you.

That said, given what my family has been living through with the flooding in Kentucky I think I want to have to walk "down" to the creek.

Pike's Peak

You may remember some time ago I wrote about going to the Pike's Peak Writer's Conference in Colorado Springs. My friend, Kate, started a campaign to send me and many of you contributed to the cause. I also applied for a scholarship and was awarded one.

So... I went to Colorado Springs a couple of weeks ago and it was amazing!

It was at the end of April and first of May. I haven't written about it until now because the night I got home and flipped on the news was the night we learned about Bin Laden. So, it didn't seem like good timing, and I'm just now catching up.

I went to sessions on Thursday - Sunday, and it was an incredible experience. The level of writing at this conference was amazing.

A couple of highlights...

I signed up for a session called "Read and critique." You read the first page of your novel in a small group and an agent, editor or author gave you immediate feedback.

In my session agent Sandra Bond was giving the feedback. When I read the first page of my novel she said she would turn the page to read more, so that's good. One of the wonderful things about this session was that you got to hear other people's first pages - that's one reason I knew the writing was really great at this conference. Two people in the session got the go-ahead to send their material to her to look at in more depth.

That's what you're hoping for in such a circumstance - to have an agent or editor say, "Send it." That's the first step to getting published.

One of the other things you could request at this conference was an appointment with an editor or agent to pitch your book to them. Again, the idea is to have them say, "send it."

I got an appointment with an agent who represents southern fiction, as well as other things. I pitched a different book I have that's finished because the work needs to be finished but in my eight minutes with her I did mention I was working on a southern fiction book.

She asked me to send the book I was pitching and said she would look at the novel when it's done. So, that was wonderful. I'm polishing my book proposal these days so I can get it sent off to her.

Who knows what will happen, but it's great to have this in the works. The book I pitched may be too regional - we'll see - but I'm excited that she's willing to look at the novel, too. Now I just need to find the time to finish it.

Overall the Pike's Peak Writer's Conference was spectacular. The level of instruction was great and numerous agents and editors are there. You have an opportunity to pitch them at lunch or dinner, as well as the pitch appointments. I spoke with one person who had gotten requests from four agents and two editors.

So, that's the update on Pike's Peak. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your help and your good will. I will keep you posted on future developments.

Patsy Cooks Cookies

This is what I've been working on the last few days - a Kindle book with 13 of my favorite cookie recipes. These are ones I really love. It's not finished yet, but soon... soon... soon...