Monday, March 09, 2009

Worn and Whiney

I am getting worn and I'm whiney, so please feel free to stop reading now.

OK, that was your fair warning.

Tuesday will be six weeks since surgery, which is a magic time, when I can increase some things I do. I'm supposed to be very cautious for eight weeks, so there's still two more weeks ahead, but I am getting so weary of not being "normal."

Greg has been very gracious, but I know he's getting tired of having to do things around the house that I can't bend to do. I'm certainly getting tired of having to ask him to do them. I will be so glad to be able to do those things for myself.

I have had some pain the last couple of days on the left side of my tummy. It feels very much like a pulled muscle, which may well be what it is. It does not feel like an internal injury of any sort - just a pulled muscle when I move a certain way. Right now it feels fine but sometimes when I stand up and move it can take my breath away for a few seconds. I'm sure it will improve over time.

I've become overly sensitive to people expecting me to be completely normal at this point. I've done really well, and I think because people see me up and about they expect that everything is completely normal. It's not. I'm not well yet. I'm doing great, and I am healing well, but I'm not at 100% and I simply can't yet do everything I would like to do and that others would like for me to do. I sometimes have to stop from screaming, "Hey! this wasn't just a hang nail. This was major. I need some time to be back to normal in every way. Stop pushing me." So far I've been able to bite my tongue, although a couple of people have really tested that. Never mind that I haven't yet had time to process wondering if I would die, which I really do need to process.

I'm whiney tonight. I'm not sure why. It will pass. Quickly. Because I'll make it pass quickly. This is just a blip. I'm going to chalk it up to daylight savings time and take this extra hour I'm awake to count my blessings, which is a far better use of it than being whiney.
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Anonymous said...

So what are you saying? Are we on for racquetball tomorrow or not?

Patsy Terrell said...

Yeah, sure, you go ahead and secure the court. I'll meet you there.