Mammogram

I went for a mammogram today. I've had multiple ones and don't find them nearly as terrible as some women make them out to be. It's certainly not pleasurable, but it's not really painful either.

That said, imagine my surprise when I put my bra back on, looked in the mirror, and found my skin very, very red in a line at the top of my breast, from being squashed. Being who I am, I whipped out the camera and took a pic. I considered posting it here but decided readers might not want to be reading blogs and find such a photo. So, you'll just have to take my word for it.

It's just some minor skin irritation, and it's the first time I've ever experienced that. The squashing seems much less extreme these days than it used to be. If you're afraid to have one and worried about it, email me and I'll send the pic to you so you can see it's not a big deal.

It's very important that you have mammograms. The momentary discomfort is minor compared to the security of knowing all is well. I walked out of there, expecting to get good news, and looked at the other women in the waiting room, knowing that some of them were probably far more worried than I was. For me it was routine, for some of them it's life-saving.

If you're a woman over 40 and haven't had one, get thee to the doctor immediately. If you're a woman over 50 and haven't had one within the last 12 months, start dialing for an appointment. If you're over 30 you should have a mammogram on file for a base line comparison in the future. If you're over 20 and have a family history of breast cancer, you should have one. I had my first one in my 20s. Sometimes you may have to remind your doctor. DO it.

Your chances of breast cancer increase with age, but other factors - like a mother, aunt or daughter diagnosed with breast cancer, increase that risk. The government gives the following stats about your risk:

from age 20 to age 30. . . 1 out of 2,000
from age 30 to age 40. . . 1 out of 250
from age 40 to age 50. . . 1 out of 67
from age 50 to age 60. . . 1 out of 35
from age 60 to age 70. . . 1 out of 28
Ever . . . . . . . . . . . 1 out of 8

Don't hesitate.

Germs! Yikes!

The question was asked about germs and are you germaphobic and what do you do. I like to think I'm "cautious."

OK. I hate germs.

Salad bars. Oh my gosh. I look at those handles and think about all the people who've touched them and the germs that have made a happy place in the salad fixings. OK, I do eat from salad bars at times, but I do think about it.

Never use those air dryers in bathrooms - they're pulling dirty air from the floor. Disgusting. I use the towel to open the door, or barring that my shirttail, or if I have to I use a pinky finger and pull it at a place on the handle where others aren't likely to touch.

I wash my hands many times a day - certainly after being outside or doing anything "dirty."

I HATE shopping carts. Yuck yuck yuck. Do you know how many people have touched those handles!?!?!? And people let their babies chew on them, which is disgusting for the baby, and also makes it more covered with germs.

When I am in public, I never touch my eyes, mouth, etc. without washing my hands first. I also rarely get colds - because of this and the frequent hand washing.

I carry wet ones with me all the time. I never eat without using a wet one or going to wash my hands.

If any food falls on the table, it's trash. Have you seen the water/rags people wipe tables in restaurants with? Please, some bleach.

Bleach. Ah, yes, bleach. I keep it in the kitchen, both bathrooms and by the laundry. When I serve a group of people, I soak my dishes in bleach water afterwards to make sure all germs are killed. If you think your dishwasher is killing germs, you're kidding yourself, unless you have a commercial dishwasher and are using sanitizing material in it.

I rinse all can lids before opening.

Even as a child, I often asked, "Mama, my hands are duh-ty, would you wash my hands?"

Well, I could go on and on and on and on and on. But I'll stop here for the moment.

Wednesday

I have been up since a little after 5. I had to put rugs down in various places because they were bringing my furniture back from storage.

The movers arrived at the same time as the Home depot truck dropping off the tile they're laying tomorrow. Meanwhile the handyman was here to replace two doors. There's nothing like wandering down the hallway, toward your office, and noticing that there's a gaping hole in your home where once there was a door.

Now, 12 hours later, my house is stuffed with things again, I have two new doors and storm doors installed, the tile has been brought into the house and the only big project I have left for the day is to remove everything from the sunporch for them to do tile tomorrow and figure out how to clean my neighbor's driveway where the forklift left tire marks.

Ah... the joys of home ownership. I do love it. Thank goodness. Because I'm having one of those days like when the computer is trying to self-destruct and I remind myself that it's a good thing I LOVE computers.

Sentences that Have Not Been Uttered Previously

Friends and I have an ongoing discussion about "sentences that have not been uttered previously."

Our latest favorite is, "If you're not going to sell it, it doesn't matter what it's worth. You might as well glue it to your jackalope."

I am the proud speaker in this case, referring to Greg wanting to glue some toy goggles from GI Joe on Ace Jackalope before the cruise.

Bush Visits LA

So... Bush is visiting Louisiana. Again. Finally. What is this? Seven times?

OK, quite uncharacteristically, I'm going to cut him some slack. Yes, it's too little too late. But if he were sitting in the white house, or - more likely - on vacation, I'd be bitching about that. So, just this once, I'm going to cut him some slack.

This seems to be a no-win situation. And regardless of your party affiliation or your views on the man in the white house, no one would be able to walk the right "fine line" after the Katrina debacle. That debacle is a different discussion. For the moment, I'm just going to give him a break and say no one could figure this mine field out.

And, no, I'm not getting soft. Just trying to be objective.

sig line

"We need men who can dream of things that never were." John F. Kennedy

I HATE to shop

Today at lunchtime I go went out to Lowes and Home Depot to do more hunting and gathering for the house.

So, I'm at Lowes, looking at light fixtures. This gentleman comes along and asks if he can help. I tell him I'm looking for something to go in the kitchen.

He says, "Get a ceiling fan."

I say, "I have a ceiling fan now. I want to get rid of it."

"Why would you do that?" he asks, incredulous.

"It's ugly," I say. "Besides, it's useless in the kitchen - I don't use it - the air would blow the gas underneath the burners. And it's ugly. Very ugly."

"They make pretty ones, now." He says, waving to draw my attention to the dozens hanging up.

"That's a matter of opinion," I laugh. "They've made them more decorative. I don't think they've made them pretty yet."

He laughs - I think AT me, not WITH me - and asks, "How old is your house?"

"A little over 100 years old," I say.

He says, "Put in some recessed lights."

"No, I don't care for those. I want something with some character."

He says, "Well, that's all they're putting in new houses anymore."

The tone was one that indicated I was a fool for not wanting to do whatever the latest thing is. Now, think about this... if I thought new houses were wonderful, I wouldn't have bought a 100 year old one. See? Doesn't that make sense?

Why in the world would I give a flip what they're putting in new construction? Obviously, I think new construction leaves a lot to be desired because I bought something old. I want to get as far away from new construction as possible.

I wanted something solid. Something with real wood in it. Something built by people who cared about standards. Something with real baseboards, real wood floors, windows built by people who knew how to build windows instead of just buying them prefab. Shoot, when people who knew how to build HOUSES built them instead of just buying the parts prefab and assembling them in some fashion.

Last week I bought quarter round and had to explain that I wanted REAL wood, not psuedo wood. The kid just could not understand why anyone would want anything other than the fake stuff. Well... damn... because it's FAKE!!!!!!! I like real cheese as opposed to "process cheese-like" substances too.

Finally, I gathered my things at Lowes and went to Home Depot to get some paint mixed.

Early this morning I opened the can of Behr paint that was left after painting my living room three years ago. I have some touch up work to do. I opened the can to find goo in the bottom.

I was not impressed with Behr paint when I was painting with it. And I'm certainly not impressed with this discovery. I have probably eight different brands of paint from that time and this is the only brand that has turned to goo.

Nonetheless, I now own another gallon in the same color so I can touch up. I started to just get a quart but it's 2/3 the cost of a gallon and if I don't have enough... well... you know the routine.

Getting paint mixed required me digging in my purse for an old receipt to get their phone number and placing TWO calls to get someone to show up to mix the paint. Yes, not one, but two, phone calls.

The other night I went to buy some doors and spent 25 minutes waiting on someone to help me. I asked one of the 11 employees that were in the front of the store and they said someone would be back there. There was no one. Of course, it was 9:45 by the time I left - they close at 9 - but if they had shown up the first time I had someone paged, instead of me having to do it two other times, they would have gotten out on time. To their credit, they were very pleasant about the whole thing.

But... did I mention... I HATE to shop. It is far too complex.

phones, phones, phones

I have found a new way to indicate when one is too busy... I haven't had time to even listen to the messages on my cell phone that came in while I was talking to other people on my cell phone. They're playing in the background now. I just was on the regular phone and had to interrupt that call for a cell phone call who's number I recognized as urgent. I know I'm not this important. How can things be this crazy?

Moving Things Around

I spent a large part of the day moving things around in the house, preparing for them to bring my furniture back from storage later this week. It seems I spend way too much time moving things around.

I ran into Diana today at K-mart. We started talking and she wanted to borrow some things for an event. So, she and Austin and Amy came over tonight and got a lot of my dishes - snack trays and such. It's a bonus for me since I need to deal with all these dishes anyway.

She also cut some of my sweet potato vines to experiment with. She's going to use some to decorate with. They are growing like crazy and overtaking everything else in the flower bed. I hope the other things I planted have survived underneath all these vines.

One of my goals is to organize my life. I want to find a place for everything and get everything in its place. I spend too much time moving things around because they don't *belong* anywhere. So, I move them from one room to another. I'm sick of it.

So, once I have everything back and have figured out what to do with it, I'm moving into a new phase of life where home is a place of sanctuary - not just a place to store my crap.

Of course, as Mary Ann said tonight when I talked to her, I'm thankful that I'm able to move stuff around and do what I need to do. Always need to remain thankful of that.

Well, I need to get to bed early. My first thing is at 7 in the morning. It's going to be a frantic week.

Corpse Bride - no spoiler

You may know if you read here regularly that I am NOT a movie person. I go to one or two every year or so and it has to be something MAJOR to get me to go. Well, yesterday I saw "Corpse Bride" because I love "Nightmare Before Christmas" and I wanted to see Tim Burton's latest entry. It is no "Nightmare."

When "Nightmare" came out, Greg tried valiantly to get me to go see it. It was a big departure at the time. I didn't go, and after seeing it on video later - at his urging - have wanted to see it on the big screen. I love the Oogey Boogey Song and many of the characters. It was one of those cases where Greg was so right and I was so wrong.

So, when I learned about "Corpse Bride" I wasn't going to miss out. It was OK, but nothing to get excited about. I didn't leave humming any songs. A few hours later I couldn't remember any particular scene from the movie. I don't have a memory for such things, anyway, but generally it stays with me at least a few hours.

Anticipation

I was thinking tonight that something that's missing in my life is anticipation. Looking forward to something makes the experience even better for me.

I was trying to figure out why there's not enough anticipation in my life. I have come up with a couple of answers, and I don't like either one.

One answer is that I'm so busy with the day to day details of life that there's not time to actually THINK about things that are coming up and plan for them. It's that contemplation that adds to an occasion for me.

Maybe it's one reason I love the Christmas season so much - I anticipate it all year long. And it never disappoints.

The other reason I've come up with for not anticipating is that I lead a blessed existence that has many wonderful surprises in it. A week ago I didn't even know Bob Newhart was coming to town, much less that I'd get to see him. And I certainly love those surprises in life, but I think I need to temper them with other things too - planned things.

Planning is very difficult for me. It requires me to commit to a certain thing at a certain time and that's always a struggle for me. I'm sure there's a book for a psychiatrist in all that, but if I don't have time to anticipate things, I don't have time to write that book either.

One of the things I loved with my last boyfriend was that I could anticipate a visit from him. Unfortunately, if something happened and he couldn't come on a particular weekend, I was very, very disappointed after anticipating it. So, it's a mixed blessing. But, it was fun getting to think about seeing him and then the reality of getting to be with him.

I'm sure there's more here to contemplate - why I don't have enough "anticipation" in my life. It seems that I should. I must figure out how this works. It seems there's always something to occupy my thought that's "current" so there's no time for anticipating the future.

Bob Newhart

I was treated to a performance by Bob Newhart tonight. Martha had an extra ticket and asked if anyone would like to join her tonight. I happened to be online so I was lucky enough to be the first to reply.

It was a real treat - old fashioned comedy. I kept expecting Johnny Carson to make a cameo at any moment. I grew up on Carson and remember seeing Newhart on there all the time when I was a kid.

I was born so late in my parents' lives that they were very permissive. I never had a bed time. I could stay up and watch Carson as long as I got up the next morning. It was a lovely way to have a childhood. I miss knowing that Johnny Carson is still with us.

Newhart did some nice routines - everything from Polish jokes to more modern material. He worked with news information, which I always enjoy, although not things currently in the news. He also used a bit of video as a closer.

It was the opening night of the Fox season. We are blessed to have the Fox Theatre in Hutchinson. Martha was one of the driving forces behind restoring it. I could go on at great length about the Fox and how beautiful it is, and believe I have in this blog before, but you can see their photos - where this one came from too - from various times over its history at http://www.hutchinsonfox.com/gallery/index.htm.

We also heard the a jazz ensemble from Hutchinson Community College perform, and they were really good. They had a guest singer who was a high school freshman. She had a lovely voice and was very composed. I was impressed with her.

It was a nice evening. I've already written Martha a thank you note. I'm blessed to have such wonderful friends. Knowing Martha has been so good in so many ways - she has taught me to be a kinder person by example.

________________
Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Weary

I have more to do these days than I have time or energy to get done. I can't seem to figure out how to get a grip on the bits and pieces of my life and pull them all into a coherent whole. Maybe everyone has these problems... then again... maybe it's only me.....

Creative Sisterhood

Tonight was our Creative Sisterhood gathering. I look so forward to having these women come together each month. Everyone was here tonight and it was a wonderful evening.

It feels good to have their energy in my house. They hadn't been here since I had the floors done. Teresa and Diana had seen them but the others hadn't.

When the six of us gather, it's always an amazing time together.

One of the things I discussed tonight was that I am feeling more and more like I do not belong in the US. I'm not sure where I belong, which is why I'm still here, and I may never figure it out and live here the rest of my life, but the actions of our government - not the talk, but the actions - demonstrate values that are completely opposite my own.

And beyond that - the real issue - is that a majority of people in this country agree that these are appropriate values - either by voting or choosing to vote, which is the same as casting a vote for "the winner," whoever that is. That is what really troubles me - that a majority of the people I'm living with in this nation think this is what's appropriate for a society.

I have tried to change it and failed miserably. I am at a loss as to what I can do. Majority rules in this country, and what the majority wants is not at all what I want. Obviously, the system is not going to change, so it seems that I must change.

I just don't have any idea how to accomplish that.

FEMA sends Ice to Maine

We don't know why... but FEMA has sent trucks full of ice for Katrina victims to Maine. Could someone please get FEMA a map? Delorme? Rand McNally? Mapquest? Someone?

http://ksdk.com/news/us_world_article.aspx?storyid=85020


FEMA Sends Trucks Full Of Ice For Katrina Victims To Maine
created: 9/19/2005 8:31:47 PM
updated: 9/20/2005 10:46:21 AM

The trucks started arriving this weekend, and they're expected to keep coming through Sunday.

City officials say they have no idea why the trucks are here, only that the city has been asked to help out with traffic problems. But the truck drivers NEWSCENTER spoke to said they went all the way down to the gulf coast with the ice -- stayed for a few days -- and then were told by FEMA they needed to drive to Maine to store it.

The truck drivers, who are from all over the country, tell us they were subcontracted by FEMA.

They started arriving over the weekend, and city spokesperson Peter Dewitt says as many as 200 trucks could come to the city by the end of the week.

The trucks are storing the ice at Americold, a company with a warehouse on Read Street in Portland. People who live nearby say all the traffic has been baffling them for days.

The trucks can only unload 4 at a time -- so the city is allowing some of them to sit at the International Marine Terminal and at the Jetport's satellite parking lot.

No one NEWSCENTER talked to has any idea when, or even if the ice will go back to the gulf coast.

The Day

It has been a trying day in many ways. And tomorrow is a busy, busy, busy one. Today there were five things I was supposed to be at from late morning to early afternoon. I just cannot be more than one place at a time.
I can never figure out how people just set a time for something and expect everyone to be there. I guess that works for lots of people, but it doesn't work for me. I just can't manage bi-location.

Zenor was here today again. Dennis worked about six hours but got that project done.

I had a board meeting tonight and then I went to the reception for Rob. I missed the one the other weekend, so really wanted to make this one. I had just a few minutes. I was practically in tears. I'm going to miss him so much.

I know it's a great opportunity for him and I'm happy for him and Shirley in that regard but I'm going to miss him so much.

I think I'll try to get to bed early tonight as I have a full, full day tomorrow.

It's all there. It's just injured.

"It's all there. It's just injured."

A Lorena Bobbitt wannabe didn't get the job quite done. What in the world possesses women to do this?!?!?

I've been pissed before - MAJORLY pissed - at men in my life. I have never, not once, thought of cutting off any of their body parts - much less that one. Is this a new trend? A way to show our displeasure? I think I'll pass on that one...

Read the full story at http://www.swtimes.com/articles/2005/09/19/news/news05.txt

______________

Estranged Wife Arrested In Stabbing


By Amy Sherrill
Monday, September 19, 2005 8:47 AM CDT

TIMES RECORD - ASHERRILL@SWTIMES.COM

Fort Smith police arrested a woman Sunday after she allegedly cut her estranged husband's genitals with a pair of pruning shears.

Police were called to the woman's residence in the 11000 block of Hunter's Point just after 5 p.m. in reference to a stabbing, said Sgt. Dawn Sprayberry of the Fort Smith Police Department.

Cherie Jones, 61, was arrested on suspicion of first-

degree domestic battery in connection with injuring Harold Jones.

Harold Jones, 58, showed up earlier at the residence, where the two used to live together, with some beer and plans to talk things over, said detective Cpl. Kris Deason.

Harold Jones had moved out a couple of months ago and into an apartment complex on Meandering Way.

The two have been visiting off and on trying to work things out and Cherie Jones had just arrived home from an out-of-state trip.

At some point Harold Jones went to sleep in a bedroom and he awoke to find Cherie Jones cutting his genitals, Deason said.

Blood was all over the bed, police said.

"He didn't lose anything," Deason said. "It's all there. It's just injured."

Harold Jones left the residence and drove to his apartment complex where someone called police.

He was later transported to St. Edward Mercy Medical Center where his condition was unknown late Sunday.

Police said Cherie Jones told authorities she couldn't remember what happened.

Talk Like a Pirate Day

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day today. While I don't intend to engage in any celebratory activity as a result, I can direct you to The Lope's blog for a photo of him as a pirate, posing with a pirate model.
http://thelope.blogspot.com/

Weekend Winds Down

Mark and I had a lovely, long, leisurely lunch today at Houlihans. I had the penne and it was very good. I only ate about half of it so will have the leftovers tomorrow.

Mark then helped me move some things around the house - including a couch. I got some little things done around the house and it did make a difference. He also helped me set up the TV again so once again I have a TV working downstairs. I have, literally, not seen anything but CNN, MSNBC and such in weeks, so it's curious to have TV going again.

Greg spent all day at the fair. I drove up to Skaets and met him for dinner at 9. I drove him to his car in the fair parking lot and headed home.

I've been getting ready for the work week. It's going to be a busy one. Seems that's the story of my life lately - lots happening in all directions. But things are getting done - slowly but surely - just more slowly than I'd like, but what else is new.

Kansas City Star Turns 125

The Kansas City Star is celebrating its 125th Anniversary today. They've done a neat layout with the old fashioned look from their first day. The stories are current ones but the look is from 125 years ago. Neat idea. I wholeheartedly approve. (Like they need my approval - they're the freaking KC Star.)

http://www.kansascity.com/multimedia/kansascity/archive/SUNDAY.pdf

Saturday at the Fair

I spent most of the day at the fair, covering the rest of the things I hadn't gotten around to doing.

I know I've mentioned that this is an agricultural fair. One of the exhibits that has only been there a few years is the birthing center run by the vet school. They bring in various critters about to give birth and you can watch it in all its glory during the fair - at least that's the hope.

I grew up on a farm, and yet somehow had managed to never see anything born. That changed a couple of years ago when I watched them pull a calf. Let me tell you - if I'd ever had any doubts about my decision to not have children - that quelled them. Chains were involved - need I say more?

Today when I went in, there were some sows that had new piglets. This sign cracked me up. Being a farm girl, this seemed evident, and not something that needs a sign - much less a laminated, color sign.

One of the other "must-dos" for me each year is riding the train. OK, so, technically, it's for children, but they don't stop adults from riding. They have two trains and the tracks snake through the fairgrounds. It takes about eight minutes and costs $2.

It was about 9:30 by the time I left tonight. I'm very dusty and need a shower, but I think I'll just go on to bed and use that as a good reason I need to change my sheets tomorrow.

Quote

Whenever I put pen to paper, I expect magic. And I'm rarely disappointed. - Patsy Terrell

PHC

Since seeing Garrison Keillor at the fair last weekend, I've been reading at the website now and again.
One of my favorite parts of the show last week was the catchup bit because it included blogging. The script is now on the website, as well as the whole show. The friends I was with were mighty interested to see my reaction to the blogging bit. Laughter, of course - what else could it be.


When I read Garrison's responses to people, I'm sometimes struck anew at what a nice command of the language he has. I think that's the determining factor. His voice is pleasant - certainly - but his words carry a message far beyond definition.

I don't listen to the show regularly, so that means I've got a backlog of ones to hear online.

There's some beauty in that - just like seeing the powdermilk biscuits logo with a grain elevator in the background.



http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/

Friday

I spent most of the day doing little jobs - those things that only take a couple of minutes, but you can let pile up until you have hours worth of them to do.

On the upside, you feel like you've accomplished a lot at the end of the day.

I had planned to go to the fair tonight, but Greg and Mark were there and wanted to eat at Skaets so I went there and then it was getting a little late to head to the fair. We ran into Sandy and Leland and it was good to chat with them. The three of us were doing a little ranting about the democrats and why they don't get off their asses and DO something, instead of just letting the Republicans run unchecked doing one stupid thing after another.

Anyway, after Skaets, I went out to Lowe's to look around at some things for the house and ran into Reba, who I hadn't seen in awhile. We chatted for quite some time and it was nice. She used to own a little shop that I was in regularly. I miss her store and I miss her. So, it was good to see her.

Mark turned in early. Greg has popped by to download his pix. Terry called and was on his way out to Wal-mart. I think I'm going to turn in shortly. I'm weary tonight - maybe too many chiropractor visits and too much ibuprofen.

Davis-Bacon

So... there's this little thing called the Davis-Bacon act. It was passed in 1931 - you may recall that was during the depression era - to set a minimum pay scale for workers on federal contracts.

This guy named Robert Bacon thought it would help get the country out of the depression if government contractors had to pay a "prevailing" or "accepted" wage in a particular area. He got a northern guy to put his name on it too and there you go.

Sounds reasonable? Right?

It was a way to insist that people be paid a basic level of wage for certain kinds of work. It would help people get their feet on the ground and since most of the work those days was government work, it was all the more helpful.

Well, we've been going along all this time - almost 75 years - with this idea that companies hiring people to work on government contracts should pay a certain, average, wage.

That was until this week, when Bush suspended the law so that his buddies who own construction companies, can make MORE money when they rebuild from the hurricane.

Prevailing wage for a construction worker in New Orleans was $9 an hour. I wish I could hire one for that out here on the plains, but I digress. OK, so, Bush has decided that's just completely unreasonable. So, lets say a company was going to build a $20,000 building. Maybe they'd spend 9,000 of it on labor. Now, the building is still going to cost $20,000 but they'll only have to pay $6,000 (or whatever) in labor. So, gosh, the company (can you say Halliburton?) get to keep an extra three grand.

He's saying that $9 an hour is overpayment for rebuilding a community. Can he screw this up even further? I swear, every day I don't think so, and every day he surprises me yet again.

Never mind we already had an area that was depressed economically, now he's trying to make it worse - all the while lining the pockets of his friends.

How do we stop this madness? When will it end? We aren't going to have a country left to save in another three years. We've got to get rid of him.

Impeach Bush. He's demonstrated incompetence - surely that's sufficient. He said the debacle of the hurricane relief was his fault, thankfully ending all the stupidity I've been reading the last couple of weeks about how it wasn't his fault. I knew it was. Any thinking person knew it was. Finally, a week and a half later, he caught on too. I'm willing to make this one exception and BELIEVE what he says this time.

_________________

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/10/opinion/10sat2.html?incamp=article_popular

Bill Maher to George Bush

In case you missed HBO's "Late Night with Bill Maher," here was his open letter to the President:

Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you.

Mission accomplished.

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man?

Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't.

I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans.

Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: "Take a hint."

Pig Races

Doesn't your state fair have pig races? Pity.

Art at the Fair

I went to the fair tonight with a group and checked out the professional art show.

Of course, I am somewhat biased to my friends who are in the show. Jocelyn's piece was "Emily with the Blues" and is one of my favorites in the show.

Another one I loved was Kathie Moore's piece. I didn't get a decent pic of it because of light reflection, but it's beautiful. Kathie and I were in a book club together years ago and are now very involved with the democrats locally.

Don Fuller, who I'm on a board with, won the Hutchinson Art Center's Grand Award for his mixed media work called, "Balancing Act."

J. Alex Potter got an award of merit for her pastel of pears. I adore her work. It's always amazing. Her work is way out of my price range but I certainly admire it. Being in her house feels like being in a really fun art museum to me - really great. I didn't get a good shot of her entry this year, but it's wonderful.

Hutchinson is such a small community that I realized as I was looking at the art that I knew all but a couple of the Hutchinson artists, either personally or through mutual acquaintances.

There were pieces there from all over the state, of course. I really enjoyed this particular one from an artist, Marty Ferguson, of Wichita. Beautiful work.

It's always interesting to see what the judge picks from year to year. This year it seems to be the slightly unusual, but not too far out there, things. It varies from one year to the next. That's one of the great things about art - different strokes for different folks.

Apotemnophilia and acrotomophilia

You learn something every day and today I've learned that there are people who want to have limbs amputated. It's a desire. Well, it's actually a condition called apotemnophilia, and was first noted in the late 1970s.

Causes are being investigated.

One thing is certain, the internet seems to be offering people a way to accomplish these goals; as well as connect amputees with people who are attracted to them, a condition called acrotomophilia.

Bertrand Berger and colleagues wrote in the research journal, "Comprehensive Psychiatry," about a patient who packed both legs in dry ice until frostbite require amputation.

They write, "The Internet helped provide a blueprint for self-amputation. Without the Internet, our patient may never have conceived, let alone used a method to bring about, self-amputation. We anticipate that increasing Internet access will lead to more cases of self-amputation."

I'm not sure what to do with this information... but it's out there... and I didn't want to be alone with that knowledge so I'm sharing here. Lucky you.

Bush Light Bulb Joke

Mia sent this joke and I can't resist sharing it...

HOW MANY PEOPLE IN THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

The Answer is TEN:

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed,

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed,

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb,

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness,

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb,

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Bulb Accomplished,"

7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally "in the dark" the whole time,

8. One to viciously smear #7,

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb changing policy all along,

10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.