The Mommy Club

Recently I was near a group of women I dubbed "The Mommy Club." They were all very, very, very into their kids. In fact, they seemed unable to see anyone or anything beyond how it related to their children. They were very disdainful to any mother who didn't demonstrate the same level of complete devotion to their children, and obviously thought there was something horribly wrong with me that I had not seen fit to use the perfectly good ovaries and uterus I'd been given.

One of the members of the mommy club was asked by someone she's just run into that she used to work with, "what are you doing now?" She chirped -and that is the only way to describe it - "I'm a mom!" She said it as if she had accomplished the most amazing thing imaginable. I'm sure it's an incredible thing to have a child - I have no doubt of it - but it is something that billions of women have done. But billions of women were certainly not welcome in their club. The woman she was talking to who was asking what she was doing obviously didn't quite know what to say to that. But, no problem, the mommy club member went on to tell her in great detail about her two children. As well as the husband who was supporting all of them, while arguing with his two ex-wives about supporting the children from those marriages.

It, obviously, had never occurred to her that she is just the ex-wife to be that he'll be arguing with about supporting their kids. Statistically speaking, she will not have the earning power to support them without his financial assistance because she's "being a mom!" instead of building a career or in some other way asserting her own financial rights.

Don't get me wrong - I WANT people to be into their kids. I desperately want people to like being a mom. And I love it when people can stay home and raise their children. If I had had children, I would have wanted to be home with them. But, I could never figure out how to accomplish that and not be putting me and those children at great risk.

I want women to be realistic about their lives, and that of their children. If you put all your financial eggs in one basket - in this case a husband who obviously has some difficulty with relationships - the liklihood you're going to end up in a world of hurt is huge. When you end up hurt, so do your children.

The 2004 per capita divorce rate was 37% - that means that 74% of the US population, since a divorce involves two people, gets divorced every year. Nearly 3/4 of people in the US. The odds of living happily ever after are not in your favor. And the stats are per capita, not by who is married, so the numbers are actually significantly higher than that.

The notion about how you can't go into something expecting it to not last is cute and all, but that's not really for adults. If you're not past that, you're really not mature enough to be considering marriage. Adults come to a marriage with a string of failed relationships behind them. You know from experience your own track record isn't that great. And you're marrying someone with their own history of failure at relationships. Leave the romance for candy and flowers, but be realistic about the finances. What are you going to do if you get divorced? Child support? That's all formulaic in most places and it's not generally enough to really support a child. It will be a supplement but that's it. So, what is it going to supplement?

I realize some people married young and are still with the same person. Both of my brothers fall into that category and they all seem happy and I'm happy for them. If I had married the boy I was interested in when I was 16 I would have been miserable the last few years.

And if you're going to be a card carrying member of the mommy club, try to learn to contain your dislike of the rest of the world. Some of us have chosen to not have children because we didn't think we'd make very good parents. It's not because we don't like children - just the opposite - we like them so much we didn't want to screw them up. Some of us couldn't figure out a way to create a secure, loving environment for a child with some safeguards in case the relationship we had with their father fell apart, and we were realistic enough to know that was likely to happen. Some of us thought being a mom was just more responsibility than we could handle well.

I couldn't help but wonder what the Mommy Club members were teaching their children about acceptance. The only message I could see was "people who don't think like mommy are bad." No wonder we're self destructing from the inside out.

OK... you just gotta go see "Lord of the Peeps" at www.thelope.blogspot.com. It's an epic destined to become a cult classic.

A few weeks ago I was passing through Horton, Kansas. On the edge of town was this house that was very bright - bright orange - like a big construction cone. I wondered what the story was and later found out from a local resident that the city code officer had told the owner the house was getting a little bad looking and that he "needed to get some paint on it."

The resident apparently wasn't that keen on the city interferring in his business, so he put some paint on it alright - this paint.




A block or so away they apparently told the gas station owner he needed to remove the old tires he had because they were a breeding ground for mosquitoes. This was January, I guess.

I'm told the gas station owner ran an ad telling people he'd give a free oil change to anyone who got bitten by one of the mosquitoes that were bred at his station in January or February.

You just gotta love democracy in action.

What strikes me about this so much is that you'd think city code officers might feel the need to lay low, particularly in Kansas, given Dennis Rader. But, I guess a serial killer is no reason to stop telling people to mow their lawns.

May 11

Today is the five year anniversary of my mother's death. It is still fresh in many ways, although I have grown to accept this reality. We have no other choice, of course. We simply must accept and go on. Life is for the living, as she was fond of saying.

I was blessed to have a mother who always acted as if I were the most important thing in her world. What an incredible gift of love and security.

There have been a few occasions since she died when I have smelled flowers in my home when none were present, and felt her nearby. The first time was in my bedroom, near the foot of my bed, not too long after she died. It was the scent of wild violets, which she loved. I have wild violets in my back yard and adore them.

Most recently, near her birthday on April 24, I smelled flowers in my dining room. The scent was strongest near the doorway where her photo hangs on one wall beside it. But it wasn't wild violets this time, it was the scent of roses.

This night, as I was going to the kitchen for a glass of water before I went to bed, I smelled the scent very strongly as I went through the door of the dining room. I was sure I had forgotten a candle or some potpourri or something. But, I searched the room to find nothing that was scenting the room.

When I got closer to the photo, I could smell it more strongly. It happened three nights over the course of a week, always at night. It took me by surprise every time as they were not times I was intensely thinking about my mom.

We always wore roses on mother's day. It's a southern tradition - you wear red if your mother is living and white if your mother is dead. We buried her on Mother's Day and I wanted her to have a corsage in the casket. I don't know why I wanted that, but I did. My brothers were fine with it and if they thought it odd they didn't say anything. Thank God the three of us moved through that time as a family in agreement, without fighting or arguing.

When you're in the midst of all that grief you don't know why some things matter, but they matter more than you can imagine. My nephew, Johnny, wanted he and the other grandsons to carry the casket. They did. It was important to him in the same way the corsage was important to me. I doubt he can explain that any more than I can explain the corsage of white roses. You just have to hope that the things you're doing to help you don't disturb anyone else and that everyone can have what they need to process the grief.

The white rose bush I planted last year is doing well.

If you've read here for any amount of time, you know that I'm a fan of the open road. I was thinking yesterday about things I've seen along the road that were surprises, to say the least. I do so love surprises.

Probably the first such thing was the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile some years ago travelling on I-44 between Springfield and Joplin, Missouri.

Another time we spotted the big bears that are part of a fair ride being moved in the back of a pickup truck. You just don't expect to see giant pink bears on the interstate, moving at an 80 mph clip.

There are photos of both of those things somewhere, but that was before the days of digital so I have no idea where.

More recently I saw big bottles of budweiser on a trailer, accompanied by big whales on each end. I have no idea what whales have to do with beer, but mine is not to question why. Mine is only to enjoy the open road.

Where I'm at in Life

I come to this point in life with joy. I have loved and been loved. I have laughed and cried. I've given in to my whims. I've experienced passion that takes your breath away, and faced what I thought would be my death with my breath caught in my throat.

I've been kissed while standing on the bank of the Nile River and mourned the death of my mother at the Ohio Riverside. I've given thanks inside Stonehenge, marveled at Giverny, hiked the Guatemalan jungle and sang "Amazing Grace" in Muir Woods. I've lived some dreams, put some aside, and made some new ones.

Greg and I went out Wednesday morning to see Union Pacific's 844 Steam engine. It was magnicient. There was a large crowd in Hutchinson - bigger than in Salina, I think. We then went to the edge of town to catch it over this trestle. What a treat!

In Praise of Water

A few months ago I had to stop drinking caffeine. I didn't drink a lot of it to begin with, but I stopped drinking any at all.

Well, while diet sprite is my soft drink of choice, it's not readily available at most restaurants. So, I started drinking water. Lots of water. Water with most meals.

You know how they're always telling you that you should drink water and you go, "yeah, uh huh..." Well, I started drinking lots of water from necessity. Then I started to *want* water.

I've been drinking lots of water since last fall. In the last month or so I've had this following conversation 4 or 5 times...

"Patsy, your skin is looking really good... what are you doing?"

"Nothing... just drinking a lot of water."

It's really embarrassing to admit that I've finally started doing what is obvious and it has had the effect all those experts told you it would. Come to think of it, I believe everyone's mother and grandmother told them this.

Why do we humans ignore the obvious?

Hose and Heels

I am back home after a few days in Salina at the Altrusa District conference. I'm going to be doing the district's newsletter for the next two years and Peggy, who got me involved, was installed as governor last night. That means she's the head honcho of the district.

So, I spent the weekend trying to be where I was supposed to be, when I was supposed to be there, and dressed appropriately so I didn't embarrass her. I even wore hose and heels last night!!!!! This is no small feat for me. I gave away all my high heels a few years ago. But, decided I really needed some for this occasion. This $8 pair of shoes will probably last me for another decade because I certainly don't plan to wear them too often.

But, geez, high heels do make legs look so good. Why must that be? What can't flat sandals make legs look good? But, I was a good girl. I took off my toe rings and put on hose and heels instead. Quite the departure for me. But I survived. I probably won't do it again until next year's conference.

Trish drove up to Salina and met me for brunch at Capers. We had a nice long chat. I got home in the late afternoon and had to unload the car, which took a long time because - of course - I overpacked. I always do when I travel by car.

Steam Engine

This afternoon, I hung out at an overpass on the interstate and waited for this. "This" is 844, an old steam engine, that is making an excursion across Kansas and other parts in the next few days.

It was a cloudy day here, and not the best train watching weather, but I'm so glad I didn't miss seeing it moving along.

Years ago I did a story on this same engine when it was named 8444, but I've never gotten to see it moving. It was magnificent.

It is in Salina tonight and tomorrow. On Monday it will be in Hutchinson. So, I'm sure I will see it yet again on this trip.

Tonight I was at the Rolling Hills Refuge near Salina. We only got to enjoy the museum tonight but I want to come back and attend the zoo portion too.

The museum is filled with taxidermed animals. I'm not generally a big fan of stuffed critters, but this is well done.

This was part of the Altrusa District Conference. This is my third conference and it's really nice to see people I've met in previous years and really enjoy.

I wonder if any of these relationships could develop into real friendships. That has happened with some of the people in my local group, but it's harder with people from other clubs that I only see once every year.

Speaking of friendships, Trish and I had an incredible lunch the other day - not the food, the conversation. I connect with her in ways I don't connect with anyone else. I've thought a lot about why that is in the last few days. It's that she has no pretense. I figured that out only today. Trish has absolutely no pretense about her - none - she just is who she is. She's very kind and very generous, and beyond that she is completely accepting of people from all walks of life. I will try to learn more from her about being without pretense. It's good to have such a model in my life.

I'm thinking a lot about different friendships these days - what restores me and what taxes me. I have to say all of my friendships are very, very, very positive. We all go through times when we are more "needy," me included. But, overall, my friends are a real joy to me. I am blessed.

Julie's Retirement

Yesterday afternoon I attended Julie's retirement reception. She had a very good turnout, including Leah and Lauren, her granddaughters. Leah is the older one.

She had lots of friends who came to wish her well. I missed Diana by a few minutes I guess. Jan was there, as well as Frances - our former mayor and now a county commissioner. Julie is loved by many in the community.

One of her coworkers made a wall hanging for her. I guess this lady does this for anyone who retires. Getting a handmade gift is so special.

Becky was there, of course, since it's her workplace too.

Julie had worked there almost 20 years so I know this is a big change, but she has a lot on her plate. And this is a good time to retire for her.

Julie's Mom and Dad and her mother in law were there, as well as her daugher and grandchildren, and four of her sisters. It's good to have family that appreciates you. I like all of Julie's sisters that I've met - very nice - very fun. They invited me to join them for coffee afterwards but I had to get ready for the cooking show.

Virginia was there, too. That's her on the left.

Taste of Home

It has been a busy couple of days - so busy I haven't been able to find time to write about it here!

Yesterday I helped with the Taste of Home Cooking Show. This is always fun to do. This was my fourth year to do it. We go in the morning and prep things - chop, dice, etc.

This year the recipes were more complex than last year so it took us longer to prepare. Then we have a break and come back and help on stage during the show.

It's a fun group to work with. The local newspaper sponsors it and Joyce Hall organizes this part of it. Her sister, Jackie, helped and Gayla - who I just adore. She's someone I've run into for years off and on but until I started doing this I didn't work closely with her. But, this is a good group - everyone works hard.

The trickiest thing for us is that we do this in the sports arena so we don't have running water where we're working. We have to haul water in from the concession stand area, half an arena away. It's the hardest part.




They really have a system. Everything is very organized. We get to keep the aprons, which I love. It's always a fun day.

I'm amazed at how excited people get to watch someone cook. Makes me think I should invite people into my kitchen for a fee.

Kristi - the new home economist - was a dream to work with and did a great job.

Mumps

The news here is filled with stories about the mumps. Kansas is one of the nine states where the person who was infected flew to during her contagious stage. So, we are having quite the outbreak. I'm not sure what the fuss is about - it's not like mumps is something people don't survive. I had them when I was five, complete with a setback, and I'm still alive and well nearly 40 years later.

The way people are acting, you'd think it was some horrible thing. They're referring to it as a "dreaded disease" on CNN,while they're saying it's not really that serious. Please, make up your mind.

In actuality, it's very rare for anyone to have any serious problems, including sterility for men. It's inconvenient and unpleasant and that's about it.

I don't remember anyone being that concerned about me when I had the mumps. Nor do I recall anyone bothering to keep their kids away - better to let them get it and be over it.

If you've had the mumps, you're protected from it in the future. You can check your immunizations - you should have had TWO shots to be protected. Or, you can just assume your chances are very slim - which they are - and that it's nothing more than an inconvenience if you get them - and go on living your life normally. This, of course, would be my method.

Rain, Rain, Rain

It has rained here today. I mean... RAINED... this morning and again this evening.

But, we were lucky in Hutchinson. Wichita, and other towns nearby, had horrendous hail. Bigger than golf ball sized, some tennis ball sized. It came in three different waves this morning and did a ton of damage to buildings and cars in Wichita - even denting people's aluminum siding.

It also damaged the wheat crop. Although I've lived in Kansas a long time, I've never quite gotten the hang of the planting cycle here. But, in short, they grow "winter wheat," meaning that it grows over the winter so by now it has heads on it - that's the part that you sell. This is very bad news when hail hits.

Much of the crop is ruined. Some farmers will just cut their losses and plow it under and plant milo, trying to salvage something from the field. Even if they have federal crop insurance and they pay, that combined with the milo sale will not equal what a wheat crop would. It's the difficult life of a farmer summed up.




It has been so very dry here, but the wheat was not looking too bad considering that. And we so needed the rain, but not the hail.

We went out to Dutch Kitchen tonight for dinner and stopped to take some photos of the sunset on the way. Greg took the cool one above when we came out of the restaurant. I snapped this one of the train tracks.

We were paralleling the tracks, anticipating the arrival in a week of an old steam engine that will be on an excursion through here.

One of the last pieces I did for radio was on 8444 and now I'll get to see it again. I got one of the best quotes I ever got - this lady said, "Oh, these old steam engines just have a soul." Just as she finished, the whistle blew. The timing couldn't have been more perfect.

It will be good to see it again.

Roger Landes and Chipper Thompson

I spent an absolutely delightful afternoon listening to the music of Roger Landes and Chipper Thompson. If you have an opportunity to see them in your area, do not miss it. www.rogerlandes.com and www.folk-n-roll.com for more info on each of them.

They played at the Civic Center. It was a bit warm in there - it got up to 96 this afternoon but it wasn't too bad. Well, it wasn't for us - but of course they were the ones working.

That's Landes on the left and Thompson on the right.




They were playing bouzoukis, which I was not familiar with. It was many years ago that I was a music major and I was never very good at it, which is why it was also brief. Oh, gosh, that was a former life... Although I do miss singing... but I digress. Apparently if I'd only paid more attention during The Thistle and Shamrock during my public radio career I would have known.

If you google bouzouki, you'll find many references (and spellings). It has its own wiki page, so what more needs be said. I'm just out of the loop, obviously, not that that's anything new.

The bouzouki is mainly associated with Celtic music now, but its roots are in Greece.

They had four different bouzoukis and two other stringed instruments as well as a few pieces for percussion. I'm always amazed at what gifted musicians can do with just a few pieces of equipment.

Chipper Thompson also sang on a few numbers, which was fun. To top it off, these guys were both really pleasant, and willing to chat with everyone. And they were funny, which is always a plus. I love funny.

We learned that Chipper Thompson is very fond of snakes, and they even did a song they had written together called Whippersnapper Snake, which I really liked (the song, not the reptile). I'm not going to hold his snake fascination against him. I do wish he had dropped by and taken my little visitor from last night with him.

The civic center was overflowing with music. There were about 50 people there, including Trish, Martha and Jim, and Becky. Jim had a chance to talk with them briefly about his recent trip to China with the Prairie Rose Wranglers to perform on the Great Wall.

I think the guys sold a number of CDs, which I'm happy about. I know making a living as a musician is no easy feat.




The music was a mix of tunes from various cultures including Armenian, Irish, Spanish and a host of others, as well as lots of original pieces. Many of the influences were from the Mediterranean region, which I love. It was a great afternoon.
Some of the music reminded me of things I heard in Egypt. There was a particular piece of music the taxi driver I used in Maadi played a lot in the car that I thought of today. All the Mediterranean influence had me enjoying a trip down memory lane at times.

Sometimes when you're traveling you have one of those "moments" where everything is crystal clear in your memory - the sound, the smell, the feeling - one of those for me is being in Alexandria, Egypt, and walking out to look at the Mediterranean Sea. I remember standing there, the wind blowing so hard I could barely hear my companion's words, and knowing that I was a different person than I had been before setting off on that trip.

The stars aligned for me to go to Egypt at a critical time. I needed to move past a really long-term relationship that had ended abruptly and I'm a big believer in what I call "geographic therapy." Some American expats, family of someone I knew here, graciously welcomed me into their home, and made a dream I'd had for 30 years come true. I soaked up everything in Egypt - and came back changed.

Of course, the thing about changes is that you can't ever go back. I'll never again be that woman who got on a plane alone, bound for Cairo, not knowing a word of Arabic, not having the necessary visa, never having met the people I was staying with, and figured all would work out.

I left Egypt almost a month later with a very different concept of the world and my place in it. No one in my world here has ever understood how I changed. I guess it's not of interest to anyone, as no one has ever asked. Being in that very foreign place, the first time I'd ever traveled abroad alone, I learned how to come home to me.

It was in Egypt where I accepted that I live by a different code than most. Life for me is all about this moment - only this moment.

It's why I've made big decisions in ways that seem "casual" to others. Nothing is casual to me - nothing at all. It's all intense - if I'm having a sip of ice cold freshly squeezed lemonade on a scorching hot day, or being kissed gently while the Nile river rushes by below, or sitting on a bench in Monet's garden at Giverny speaking in my halting French to a young child who approached me - it's all intense. And when I fall in love - oh my gosh - intense can't even begin to describe it. I live my life at 110 mph all the time. When you hit a wall going that speed it really hurts. But the ride is amazing. And I'm not willing to give up the ride. Never. I'll take my lumps at the end of it, but I'm not giving it up.

Most of my life people have been admonishing me to "think things through" and "be careful" and "think about what you're doing." What I realized in Egypt was that while they were thinking things through I was living and that one can't really do both. You're either living the moment or spending it thinking about another one in the future; then not living that one while you're planning for yet another one. It's not the life for me.

While others were considering their options, I was going to an Egyptian wedding and crawling around in the Tomb of Ti and climbing the red pyramid. To each his own, but I don't want to think things through. I can't waste the time. We're not here forever. Who knows what the next world will be like, I want to enjoy this one because it's all I have right now.

Thinking things through is not how one ends up inside the Step Pyramid, even though it's closed to the public. It's not how one gets the chance to be alone inside the pyramid of Unas, even though it's closed. Those were two things I desperately wanted to see. Fortunately, an educator I met at Sakkara made those dreams come true for me, as well as that trip to Alexandria.

I wanted to see the spot in Alexandria where Eratosthenes had measured the shadow that gave him a nearly accurate measurement of the Earth's circumference in the third century BC. As my trip was going so quickly, I thought I might not make it to Alexandria, and then this young man offered to go with me and negotiate all the Arabic that would be necessary for me if I wanted. I did.

I realized the day I bought the tickets to Alexandria that the Egyptian way of life really suited me in the context of "whatever will be, will be." They say, "inshallah" - meaning if Allah is willing then it will happen.

Having grown up in the American culture, I guess I never knew there were others like me out there - people who don't care to claw their way to the top of some infamous ladder that no one can even see - but who just want to live and love and laugh and feel and experience. I found, instead, that there are entire nations filled with such people. There just aren't very many of them in the United States or Europe where I had traveled previously.

I no longer belabor giving in to my whims. It may not suit everyone, but it's my way. I'll take my chances it's going to end badly, but I'm not willing to give up the chance it could be amazing.

Some people keep schedules and like it. I keep a schedule because I have to. I'd much rather live by the moment, not by the hour.

Wild Violets

Today is the first time I've seen wild violets blooming in my back yard. It's officially spring. My mom loved wild violets and I never had them in Kansas until the first year I lived i my house, the spring after my mom died. I love their delicate little blooms. They are plentiful in my backyard and I love that. If I knew how to get more of them, I would.

Women's Show

Today was the Fifth Annual Soroptimist's Women's Show at the fairgrounds. They are very generous in giving free space to non profits and the MHA is one of them.

There were lots of people there I knew. Kathie was at the Democratic Women's Club Booth and I also saw Leah working the RSVP booth. That's Leah on the left and Cindy on the right. Cindy is a Soroptimist, so she was very busy today.




I started at 9 this morning and ended at 4. Trish came out and gave me a break and I went and got lunch. That was wonderful to have a break in the day.

I talked to lots of people. I'm still amazed at the education we need to do about mental health issues.

I had a great spot today. Right next to me was the La Leche league and the lady working this morning had her two month old with her. She let me hold the baby for a long time, which was lovely.




Brandi is the baby's name. She was a little doll - just sleeping away. Mom positioned her so I could get a photo. She was a sweetie. And I think maybe she is used to having her photo taken. She seems to be posing, even at 2 months old.

On the other side, with just one table inbetween us, was Burdette's Birdies. Peaches was entertaining numerous people. She was a cool bird. It doesn't show up well in my photos, but she was a beautiful peach color.

Cockatoos live to be 60-70 years old and Peaches is only 8. Her owner has made arrangements for her neice to take Peaches if something happens to her.

At one point, Peaches was resting her head on her owner's shoulder and it was just adorable. She went to a number of different people today at various times. I'm not generally a big fan of birds, but I'm making an exception for Peaches.

This afternoon Terry's Tai Chi class was doing a demonstration. His teacher, Joya, is just marvelous. I've gotten to know her a little bit and really like her. Today is the first time I've seen her do Tai Chi and it was incredible - she is so graceful.













After the show, I headed home to do some things around the house. Late tonight I went out for some groceries. When I'm out of yogurt, apples or pop I have to shop. I was out of yogurt and down to one apple so it was definitely time.

I ran into Terry out there and chatted with him a while. When I got home and was bringing my groceries in, I saw something that I did NOT enjoy.




Yes, that's right, a tiny little snake. I HATE snakes. Hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em. And yes, I know all the reasons they're wonderful. I just want them to be wonderful somewhere other than around me. And here this one was right by my front porch. I don't like it all. Not at all... and my ankle hurts now where I got bitten by one last year. Apparently they don't like me much, either.

Podcasting Growing

Libsyn, which hosts many podcasts, announced today that in the first quarter of 2006, there has been a 200% increase in listeners compared to last quarter. They say more than 45 million people listened/viewed podcasts off the Libsyn network in this quarter.

Most people are getting their podcasts from iTunes. I wish they had a category that was more in line with my Art of Gracious Living podcast.

You can read more of the whole report at
http://soundoff.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=82365

Art of Gracious Living #19

Click here for show #19 and it will automatically download for you. You can listen to podcasts on your computer. You don't need an iPod or any additional software.

This past week I had an opportunity to see former Polish President Lech Walesa at a lecture. I was reminded that just a few months ago I was listening to former Russian President Gorbachev.

I do not live in a major city where such things happen regularly. I just try to take advantage of whatever is offered in my area - a small midwestern town. Hearing the perspective of different people causes us to consider our own lives in a new light.

It's natural for humans to take things for granted in our communities, but breaking that habit can help us all lead more gracious lives.

Click here for the Art of Gracious Living page at the Podcaster News Network

Click here for the Art of Gracious Living RSS feed

Internet Threat

Congress is considering a bill to make the internet less available to all of us.

This is from MoveOn, a reputable organization. I am on their mailing list but had overlooked this. Martha sent it this morning. I have signed the petition and urge you to do so as well. Surely we can keep ONE thing free in this country.

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http://www.civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet/

Congress is now pushing a law that would end the free and open Internet as we know it. Internet providers like AT&T and Verizon are lobbying Congress hard to gut Network Neutrality, the Internet's First Amendment. Net Neutrality prevents AT&T from choosing which websites open most easily for you based on which site pays AT&T more. So Amazon doesn't have to outbid Barnes & Noble for the right to work more properly on your computer.

Many members of Congress take campaign contributions from these companies, and they don't think the public are paying attention to this issue. Let's show them we care - please sign this petition today.

http://www.civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet/

Tech Support

I should start every single phone call to Cox Tech Support by telling them, "please, do not at any time during this call use the phrase, 'we do not support...'" It must be their most often used phrase and it ticks me off every time I hear it. You'd think they might make the connection that people who are high speed customers might be more heavy duty computer users and therefore might have ventured beyond Outlook.

"Is there a router hooked up" would be a close second as to their most often used phrase. In all the times I've called them - once it was the router.

After a while, I start to believe they cannot diagnose or fix any problems so it's easier to just hope there's a router they can blame for the problem. If that doesn't work, they just don't support whatever program you're using that you happen to have a problem with.

I will say for them, however, that I always get a native English speaker, which I appreciate.

And, in reality, this problem will probably self correct. Someone will discover there's a problem after a few hundred more people call and complain. So, I guess I'll just wait.

Unknown Traumas

I've been hunched over the computer all day today. I'm getting weary of that. But, one more day and I think I'll have this project done. I have to have it done by Friday so I only have tomorrow to do it. The next few weeks are overflowing with projects and I'm worn out already. Today I was just exhausted, even though I had a lot of sleep for me.

Yesterday I had lunch with Virginia and it was really nice to visit with her. Today I lunched with Trish and - as always - it was insightful.

Tonight Greg and I had a conversation with a gentleman at a restaurant who happened to mention in passing that he had lost a child a couple of years ago. It struck me that you just never know what trauma people have suffered. You never, ever, know. It was a reminder to me to be kind to people, because you never know what they're going through or coming through.

Art of Gracious Living #18

Click here for show #18 and it will automatically download for you. You can listen to podcasts on your computer. You don't need any additional software.

Watching a sunset recently made me consider why I always try to burn such a memory into my brain. It's because there is never a tomorrow for me - only this moment.

Appreciating every experience is part of leading a more gracious life. Take time this week to fully "be" in at least one moment. Soak it up with every sense.

Click here for show #18 and it will automatically download for you. You can listen to podcasts on your computer. You don't need any additional software.

Click here for the Art of Gracious Living page at the Podcaster News Network

Click here for the Art of Gracious Living RSS feed

Scenes from My World

I took this photo late this afternoon. I'm very pleased with how it turned out. The white tulips are so delicate looking. I may have to print a copy of this.

I have other things starting to bloom, but still have empty spaces in the flower bed. I'm trying to take some pix as the spring progresses so next fall I'll know where I need to plant more bulbs.

I went to Lowes tonight to see what they had and although the store here didn't have as much selection as the one in Joplin did, they were selling beautiful Easter Lillies on clearance for $1. I brought three of those home. I got some raspberry bushes at the Joplin store on clearance - for $2 each. Hard to believe it's already clearance time for plants.

I'm not sure if you can plant Easter Lillies outdoors, but I'm betting you can. At only $3 for all of them, I'll just enjoy them inside if not. I need to do a little research on it yet.

I cannot resist having bouquets at home and at the office. This one I have on my desk at home has mint in it. I pulled up a lot today - not all of it, but a lot of it. More will grow. And that's what I love about mint. People say it's "invasive." I just say it's "hardy," and I like hardy. It grows easily, it smells good and it lasts a long time in water - seems like a nearly perfect plant to me. My office smells wonderful and so do my hands from when I picked it.

On the way back from Joplin, Greg and I stopped and ate at Mrs. C's in Fredonia. We found it through the Kansas Guidebook (of course!). The food wasn't spectacular, but it was OK and it was plentiful.




I snapped this photo as we came out of the restaurant. It's pretty much small town Kansas courthouse square. If you look closely, you can see the flag flying in the distance. Fredonia sports a very large flag. Very large.

Easter was nice with Miss Joy. Greg made baskets for all of us, which was cool. Can one ever have too much chocolate?

Sad

I am sad tonight. Profoundly, deeply, sad.

It will pass...

It has been a quiet Easter for me. We went to lunch and then I've worked on projects most of the afternoon and evening.

I had a lot of MHA things I wanted to get done and have managed to get a lot of things out the door, so that's good. I love the idea that at 8 a.m. numerous people will find things in their email from me!

I've also been working on the podcasts for the press packet for Art of Gracious Living. I'm hoping to finish that up this week if at all possible. Frankly, it seems I'm working on something every moment of every bit of free time away from work and I still can't get everything done I want to do.

I emailed the materials I had done already to a few people late last week, and got some great suggestions from people of things I could do differently. I'm going to work on those tomorrow night I hope. I try to schedule things into my world and when something changes, it can really throw things out of whack.

I found out earlier this week that I've been accepted to an artist's retreat next month so I have to get a lot done so I can go to that. I've never had a whole week to devote to nothing but creating, so it will be interesting I'm sure.

I had my last coaching session last week and I'm missing the idea of it, but am so incredibly thankful for the experience. She really did me a world of good in so many ways. (www.sherigaynor.com)

Just found out that the Hutchinson News did quote me in their piece on Lech Walesa. I'll copy it over at the end of this post, but it's at http://www.hutchnews.com/news/local/stories/walesa041506.html. However, they don't keep things online very long.

Well, I'm going to set the computer to do a couple of things that are rather resource consuming while I sleep. So, I'd best get it going.

Hope your Easter was lovely.

Today is Miss Joy's birthday. It's always so good to see her. We've had a very laid back day, but I hope it was a good one for her.

LV stopped by with roses and candy. He is the sweetest man. I told him today he needs to train all men.




Greg wanted to get a photo of them kissing but the darn delay on the digital camera meant it took a couple of tries.







At the end of the day she was cuddling with Miss Kitty.



Last night on the way here we were treated to a lovely sunset. We were not where we had a nice foreground for a photo but didn't want to miss capturing the moment nonetheless.

Lech Walesa at Dillon Lecture Series at Hutchinson Community College

Friday morning I went to hear Lech Walesa speak at the Dillon Lecture Series at Hutchinson Community College. This was the 25th anniversary lecture. It was an incredible morning.

He spoke through his interpreter, who was charming in her own right. But, that is to say that when I quote things here, they are the words of his interpreter.

The thing that really struck me about him was his humor. He made many jokes during the presentation and also at the lecture. It's not something you expect from a world leader. I'm afraid I have not captured his humor here, as it does not translate well to the written word, but he was funny.

Walesa became the first democratically elected president of Poland in 1990, with a 74% majority. Ten years earlier, he had climbed a bulldozer and given a rousing speech during a worker's strike in the Lenin shipyard. The strike spread to other places and the Solidarity movement was born.

Walesa stated that he had been a dissident for 20 years and had found about 10 people who agreed with him. After the Pope's visit it was a change overnight to thousands of people who were willing to speak out against communism.

He said the Soviets developed a plan to reform Communism and put Gorbachev in place to "save it." Walesa said, "we knew it was impossible... And that reformer failed in every attempt... we expected total failure, and that is his success... so do not feel discouraged if you fail. You might end up with another prize. That man was awarded another Peace Prize."

Walesa talked about how things are different today than when there were two superpowers. "That era is over. Now we have another one... we must adopt a global apporach or we will not survive the 21st Century."

He said we must enlarge our views. He said ecology and the environment are areas that we must look at globally and that others we need to determine if we should approach them locally or globally.

He said one of America's greatest assets is that we have demonstrated to the world that peaceful coexistence is possible, that Jews live next door to Christains and Russians live next door to Germans and everyone gets along. He implored us to, "please, do all you can to not waste the opportunity. The world is beautiful and can be secure. We have to be prepared for the world to be peaceful. We need structure. When we think together we have the best opportunity to find answers." He went on to say later, "This is an important time. In a few years your children and grandchildren will ask, 'where were you?'"

At the luncheon he made some more remarks, and also took questions, just as he did at the speech.

He spoke more at length about Gorbachev at the luncheon. That was very interesting for me since I saw Gorbachev in October in Lindsborg. Walesa said, "Gorbachev played the role he was forced to play - not out of his own desire." He said the last time he saw Gorbachev he told him, "You are a hero, but by accident."

When asked about Putin he said he wasn't sure yet, that he saw two sides of the man. One was very much about rebuilding and the other was about regaining power. He said the economic sitution was hard on Soveit block countries because Russia had set it up so Poland would build half of a machine, but the other half was built in Russia. The same with other countries. But, after the breakup, Russia was left with lots of halves of machines. He cautioned that, "The greater the progress, the greater the danger. The more we need values. Only values can help us survive."

He said that all experts said there was no way Poland could break away and that it was only values that made it possible.

He ended his comments at the luncheon by saying that for 25 years he has wanted the "United States of Europe," a gathering of leaders of Europe and he joked that he was sure they would vote for him for President. Then he said his next mission would be to work to get that organization with the United States of America and he hoped we would vote for him for president of that group. Then he said there would be the United States of Asia and of course he would want to be president of that as well. He had everyone laughing and greatly enjoying his visit.




He said the US must either reform the UN or establish another entity like it for a global parliment. That the US must develop something like the security council for a global government. And something like NATO for global forces. He said the US must take the lead, as they are the only superpower.

He said no one would give up their individual freedoms, but we would allow these entities to deal with awkward situations. He said there were three spheres of problems these organizations would handle. 1. border conflicts. 2. Anti-semitism, racism, ethic cleansing, etc. 3. Terrorists.

He said, "We cannot have a world where the US starts all conflicts. The rest of the world needs the US even more than you who are living here do. Otherwise, the rest of the world is deprived of hope."

We are priviledged to have this Lecture Series, named for Ray and Stella Dillon, who started the Dillon grocery chain, now part of Kroger. The series was started by Jeanette Mull, who you can see in the luncheon photos, directly to Walesa's right, and by Barbara Peirce, who I've written about on the blog recently when Gorden Parks died. Barbara died a few years ago and she is greatly missed in this community. To Walesa's left is Ken, who was Barbara's husband.

The lecture series is hosted by Hutchinson Community College. President Ed Berger presented Walesa with a logo shirt from the college. Dr. Berger is a really nice guy. He and his wife, Carol, are wonderful folks. That is Walesa's interpreter off to the right in the photo.

Good Friday

It has been a wonderful Good Friday. I went to hear Lech Walesa this morning. It was inspiring. I'm too tired to really do it justice tonight, but tomorrow I'll try to write a more detailed account of what he had to say.