Thursday, July 06, 2006

The Wreckers

I'm really enjoying The Wreckers these days... maybe because I can relate to "Leave the Pieces" so well. "Drag out the heartache..." - there's a phrase most women can relate to.

I listened to it from their website more than once last night and was singing it to myself all morning. When I got in the car and started it, I was still singing the song and it was also on the radio - I was suddenly singing in sync with the radio. Freaky.

I think my favorite part is, "you're not sure that you love me but you're not sure enough to let me go." That harkens back to more than one relationship in my life.

Of course, years later I hear how he couldn't understand why I didn't know how much he loved me... of course he loved me... how could I not have known that? I guess because you never told me that. And losing me was the worst mistake of his life. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Seems I just hear the same song, different verse, over and over again. Not sure what the lesson is there for me, but I'm trying to figure it out before I get into another relationship.

Men are always more in love with me in retrospect than they were at the time I was with them. It's very odd, really. I think this must mean I'm very hard to actually be with, but the good times must leave some intense memories that they long for later. Unfortunately, I don't know why I'm hard to be with at the time, or why I make such a good memory, so I can't address it.


As the song says...

"It's alright. I'll be fine. Don't worry about this heart of mine. Just take your love and hit the road. There's nothing you can do or say. You're gonna break my heart anyway. So just leave the pieces when you go."

Tomatoes and Cucumbers

My big excitement of the day is that I noticed one of my cherry tomatoes is starting to turn red. It has been awhile since I've grown any veggies, so I'm overly interested in them.

I put out a few tomato plants, some herbs - basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme, lavendar and parsley, and one cucumber plant. The cucumber plant has grown huge. It has tons of blooms, but no beginnings of cucumbers yet.

I put them into the backyard, beside an old lawn glider that I got from some folks in Kentucky. I love it but haven't decided how to make it function yet. I think it involves some plywood and cushions but I'm not sure. However, at the moment, it's in use by the cucumber plant and I've decided it looks cool so I'm leaving it.

It was a really nice day here today - only in the mid 80s - very unusual for Kansas in July. I took advantage of it to fertilize the lawn. You're not supposed to do it when it's too warm. Well, that's almost impossible here after a certain time. It's been on my list of things to do for awhile so I was happy to get it done.

I have more plants popping up that I put the bulbs in for in the last few weeks. We'll see how this all works long term. I think some of these need to be dug up at the end of the season. I'll have to do a little research on that.

I got to have lunch with Trish today, so that was fun. It's always so good to see her. She is one of my favorite people on the planet - I can't ever get enough of her.

I finally went to bed at 7 this morning and got up about three hours later. I tried to take a nap this afternoon and did lay down between 5 and 6:30 but never really fully got to sleep. Although I'm not feeling sleepy now, hopefully if I go lay down I will sleep.

But, I've gotten tons of things done in the last 24 hours. And I do love to get things done. I have a pile of things to go to Salvation Army, I've worked on webpages - personal and work, and I've done some writing that I need to get out the door. I have also worked on the house. I'm starting to see a tiny glimmer of "my life" but it's going to take awhile yet.