Saturday, February 07, 2009


I'm a very emotional person, although I like to think that I can control myself pretty well when it's necessary. For example, if someone around me needs emergency medical care I'm very calm about getting what they need. Then, once the danger has passed and they're being cared for, I become a blubbering mass. Being a blubbering mass, of course, is of no use to anyone for anything. But, it is sometimes very cathartic to the blubber-er.

The last few days I've been really emotional. Not necessarily over anything in particular, just in general. When I lay down at night I'm prone to be crying for reasons I can't even determine. I'm not sure if it's relief over the diagnosis after a few weeks of stress, worry over paying my medical bills, emotion over the loss of my body parts or just general malaise that I don't feel normal. I know I'm very bad at being sick, and I think the latter is one that is having a dramatic impact on me, although it's far less significant than the others you would think.

Today I had a little talk with myself that I need to stop this foolishness. I just got some of the best news of my life - it's benign - news thousands of people a day are praying for. I need to let go of this other stuff and be nothing but grateful. I hope I'm successful in this moving on endeavor.

I am so incredibly grateful to have a diagnosis of benign. I just need to manifest that gratitude in new ways.
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Blogs to Read

There are a few blogs I read on a regular basis and I'm struck by how much really good writing there is online. I'm also amazed by the lives people can create for themselves. That glimpse into people's lives is what attracts me to a blog.

When people are open about themselves, I'm attracted to read what they have to say. Is that because it's human nature? Or is it because we're lacking this in our real lives so we seek it in this new fashion? Probably a bit of both.

I'm curious what other blogs you read. Leave a comment or email me at to let me know. I'm always looking to see what else is out there that might be of interest.

The health report for the day is that I've been up most of the day, but cannot function well enough to really accomplish anything. Greg, Steve and I went to Roy's for lunch. Thanks for lunch, Anne! I can play on the computer, do facebook, and read blogs, but actually doing anything that requires logical thought is beyond me. I'm sure that's partially the drugs. Of course, it was a month ago today that all of this began. I went for the pelvic sonogram on Jan. 6. A lot has happened since then.

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