Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Flowers and Ramblings

The Cosmosphere sent a bouquet of these beautiful, brightly colored daisies today. They're a perfect complement to the lovely bouquet the arts center sent a few days ago. I just got those last night when I got home from the hospital because they had delivered them to the neighbors a few days ago. Trish brought a live plant to the hospital, too, so I'm surrounded by some nice nature even though I'm in the house.

I've had some time to think in the last few days and some questions keep coming to me. It's easy to push them aside when one is wrapped up in the hub-bub of daily living. It's more difficult when that is set aside and there's little to focus on except the basics - living, breathing, dealing with pain, moving on.

I'm so very grateful to be on the other side of this. And thankful for the great care I received. I will be happy to get back to some semblance of "normal," although it will be quite some time.

I'm reconciling myself to spending Thanksgiving in Hutchinson instead of in Joplin with Greg's family and going to see Andy Williams in Branson as we had planned. Last year Mia, Greg, Miss Joy and I went and it was like watching a 1953 Christmas special played out in front of you - just perfect. But I simply can't travel there yet and I want them to go ahead and go. I'll just have to live vicariously this year.

Of course, I had already accepted I would not be able to do my usual Christmas decorating this year - that would be wrapping up now, but I just couldn't do it. And ordinarily I would have all my shopping done but this year I literally started the day after I got back from Christmas last year on this medical journey and haven't focused on anything else. And, ironically, now I'm not able to go shop. So, I think I'm going to have to take a pass on the traditional holiday season activities this year.

It will be very difficult to not be with my family in Kentucky, for only the second time in my life, and the first time in 25 years, but I simply won't be able to be in a car for that long by then. I've never missed a Christmas with BC, but it just can't be helped this year.

This is also the first time I've ever gone a whole year without visiting Kentucky. But, there hasn't been a time this year I was able to do it when I had the time to do it.

I'm looking forward to many wonderful moments in the Christmas season - they will just be different than what I'm used to. Maybe I'll find some new traditions I love. I always remind myself when I'm decorating that, "you only get so many Christmases in a lifetime." I'm going to relish every second of this one. Every second. A few months ago I wasn't sure I would even be alive at this time of year. But I am. And I'm thankful. And I'm going to express that gratitude by embracing the season.


I got home yesterday afternoon and all settled in. We decided I probably did need to rent a hospital bed for at least a short while instead of climbing the stairs so we dealt with that. I spent the first night there and other than waking up totally disoriented once it was fine. I'm needing very little pain medication, for which I'm thankful. I would make a very bad drug addict because I can't imagine why anyone wants to have that loopy feeling they leave you with. But, they're wonderful when you have pain and I certainly want them available when needed.
My plan today is to rest all day. Frankly, I feel like being up and around a bit but I am going to rest and do as little as possible. I think that will probably do more for my healing than anything else. My body and mind must need rest, so I'm going to try and give them some.
The last couple of days in the hospital I was working because I couldn't get rest from the various people "attending" to me. So, I worked. But I think a day of complete rest is in order now.

Posted via email from Patsy's posterous