Things No Man Has Said to Me Before

I have been working on the Christmas tree. I have all the lights on and have just started putting the ornaments on. Tonight was the night for Greg to wire the tree to the wall. Why? Well, because I put so many ornaments and lights on it - more on the sides facing into the room, of course - that the weight makes it lean into the room.

Last year Greg wired it to the wall for me. Tonight he did it again - although before I had it fully decorated this year.

In the process of doing it, shortly after this photo was taken, Greg said something to me that no man has ever said to me before - "Hold my left foot." I did.

As Greg leaned further down to the eyelets in the baseboard to secure the multi strand picture wire that was wrapped about the tree pole, he couldn't balance himself on only one foot and use both hands.



Frankly, we needed someone to take a photo of the two of us - me pulling as hard as I could on his foot so he wouldn't topple head first into the little triangular space in the corner of the room behind the tree. And then when he was trying to stand upright to try and pull his foot toward the floor. All we needed to complete the Lucy and Ethel effect was a conveyor belt with chocolates whipping by at warp speed. Although in this case maybe it would be Christmas ornaments.

He started out trying to work from the bottom, turning the screws to secure it in the industrial strength base...



But he couldn't really get a grip on it that way... so he tried another method...



But, when he couldn't get any leverage with his arm extended to the center of the tree like that, we progressed straight to the wiring part.

True to form, Greg remained in a good mood. Or, it's just the blood rushing to his head making him smile like that.



This would be reason number 447 that you should stay on good terms with your ex - so he will still wire your Christmas tree to the wall for you.