Sunday, July 26, 2009

Surrounded by Love

I attended Matthew's memorial service today and it was good to be surrounded by other people who loved him. It was held in First Presbyterian Church in Wichita, which is a stunning place and a fitting for a tribute to a man who loved beauty in all its forms.

Afterwards I spoke to his mother and her husband briefly, but didn't get a chance to talk with his dad. I also got to meet some family members I had heard Matthew talk about, but never met, which was nice. I also talked with Kim, who I'd only "met" on facebook during the past few days. Even in death, Matthew is connecting people.

I saw Lora, Matthew's wife, as soon as we walked in the door today. Even though she was no doubt overwhelmed, she came over to give me a hug. It felt good to connect with her in person. I was incredibly touched that after the service, at the reception, she asked if I'd like to go to Honduras with her to spread some of Matthew's ashes. Of course, I would be honored to do that.

Grief is not something that ends for me. I still grieve for Mama, for Pat, for my Aunt LaVerne who died more than 25 years ago, and for others who are gone. Grief just settles into my being, finding a place in my heart as one way of remembering, of celebrating, of appreciating the life shared with that person. So, I've made a place in my heart for Matthew, where he'll live on in happy memories, bittersweet only because we can't make new ones together.

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1 comment:

lillie said...

May God bless and comfort you in the days and years that follow. While grief never truly disappears, it becomes more tolerable in time, and, as you said, memories of good times and great experiences with the loved one certainly help in the healing process. I know now you feel as if there is a hole in your heart!