Monday, December 07, 2009

Tiger Woods Overload

I'm officially sick of hearing about Tiger Woods. Admittedly, I wasn't eager to hear about him a decade ago, but since his accident I've heard way more than I wanted. Let me clear up the story for you so we can all move on:

1. People don't have accidents and refuse to speak to the police unless they have something to hide. That may include, but is not limited to:
a. being impaired due to alcohol
b. being impaired due to drugs (legal or illegal)
c. being involved in a domestic dispute of some sort that will look very ugly for your image

2. People cheat on their spouses. This is not something unique to celebrities, but they simply have more opportunity for it. I'm about to incur the wrath of some, but many men are likely to cheat when presented with the opportunity to do it and not get caught, and self-respecting women don't give married men the opportunity. This would include but not be limited to:
a. trying to seduce them
b. saying anything other than "no" when they try to seduce you

This should not be construed to mean that I think all men cheat. I do not. And men do not have a corner on that market, either.

3. Tiger isn't very smart. If you're a celebrity, someone is going to brag about bedding you. He isn't alone in this fantasy that such things can remain private, he is just the latest in a long line of those caught with their pants down, as it were. Which, again, begs the question of why it's news. It's an old story - cross out last celebrity's name, write in "Tiger."

So, to recap - stupid move, impaired judgement on multiple levels, scorned wife wielding weapon. What more needs be said?

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